( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?

The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing someone's cast.

A plane is about the crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out. A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a person man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, takes of shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"

A man hits a woman with his car. Whos fault was it? The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?

My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookie and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple kool-aid.

What do you call the space inbetween Kim Kardashians breasts.

Silicon valley.

Four gay guys are sitting in a Jacuzzi when all of a sudden, a condom starts floating. One of the gay guys turns around and asks, "Okay, who farted?"

Q: What happens when an asian with an erection walks into a wall? A: He breaks his nose