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If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?

The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing someone's cast.

A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.

A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"

A man hits a woman with his car. Whose fault was it?

The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?

My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookies and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.

What do you call the space in between Kim Kardashian's breasts?

Silicon Valley.

Four gay guys are sitting in a Jacuzzi when all of a sudden, a condom starts floating. One of the gay guys turns around and asks, "Okay, who farted?"

Q: What happens when an Asian with an erection walks into a wall?

A: He breaks his nose.

Why doesn't Mexico have a Olympic team? Because everybody that can run, jump, and swim are already in the U.S