Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they'd be bagels.
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I am a youtuber and streamer, I play basically anything you can think of, Minecraft, Terraria, sometimes Roblox, and non-professional sports.
I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.
I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Follow the fresh prints.
What's a footlong and slippery?
A slipper.
If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?
The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing someone's cast.
A plane is about the crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out. A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a person man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, takes of shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"