So there was this guy who went swimming one day and got his left side bitten of by a shark. But don't worry, he is all right now.
Gwen
What instrument do people like to listen to while having sex?
A SEX-aphone.
What do you get when you mix a lemon and a cat?
A sour-puss.
I tried to dress hot so my boyfriend would cast some attention upon me but it just made him sweat.
What planets do Astronauts like to pee on?
Uranus!
(Say this out loud and it will make more sense)