The jokes
Say what you want about Hitler, at least he got the trains to run on time.
Yo mama is so fat that when she walked past the TV, I missed three episodes.
When a stranger keeps telling kids to kill themselves AKA the Stigg.
The Stiggs life is a joke. Wait, I forgot, he doesn't have a life.
Did you know the past tense of William Shakespeare is Wouldiwas Shookspeared?
Why did your dad FUCKING LEAVE YOU? He went to suck balls.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?”
Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.
What’s the difference between an onion and a viola?
No one cries when they cut up the viola.
What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?
The viola burns longer.
Why is the Azovstal Steel Plant important to the Russian?
Because it stores Zelensky's balls of steel!
Two muffins are in an oven.
One says, "Man, it is hot in here!"
The other one says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"
Have you seen the Justin meme?
Yeah, the ones that cracked at Fortnite?
Just-in time for deez nuts.
Bruh.
But actually, it's a parody.
Wait, actually?
Parodiesnuts (pair of deez nuts).
What's the code thing on Minecraft that decides the world generation?
Seed?
Seedeeznuts!
There's a kid with loads of new firemen equipment and sees a fire engine go past and the kid asks the firemen, "Come have a look at my new gear." So the firemen go look at his gear, so then the kid says:
"I've got a helmet, a big jacket, and an oxygen tank, and a little wheelbarrow for my gear."
Firemen say: "Why is there a rope tied around a cat's balls?"
The kid says, "So I can have a siren nnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"
Why do orphans prefer iPhones under the iPhone X? Because they have a home button.
6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9.
Why was 10 scared?
Because it's in the middle of 9/11!
What happened when the depressed kid went to give it a high five?
It left him hanging.
I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."
Hi, father, I failed the class, you mommy!