The jokes
When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
Why did the oxygen molecules walk out of the singles bar with excitement?
Because she got Avogadro's number!
Why do anions hate each other?
Because they can't handle the negativity!
So, we all know that old kids' joke: why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. Well, why was 10 scared? Because he was in the middle of 9 11.
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.
What happened to the leper when he accidentally walked into the screen door?
He strained himself.
I guess the owners of this site are braindead Trump supporters.
What did one squirrel say to the other? "Do you have any nuts?"
The reason why you have a high pitched voice is because you always sing opera.
I am still trying to figure out why paying the COVID doctors a compliment is so offensive. They even kicked me out, and all I said was to stay positive...
Yo mama is so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices.
When the school shooter drops his gun, and the autistic kid picks it up thinking it’s his long lost nerf gun.
I called the Chinese takeaway yesterday. A man picked up the phone and said: "Hello! I am Wan Kin, the chef." I said that I'll come back later.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Why did the orphan chase the family? Because he was jealous that he did not have a family.
Pastor: I don’t normally swear, but tonight I am going to, just for the halibut!
I remember when I was at a funeral at the age of 6. I was with my grandma and asked, "Grandma, Grandma, why is that man in a box?"
And she says, "He's in a better place now." I look at her confused and ask, "What kind of box did he live in before?! How is this box better than the last one?! It's just a box!"
And to this day I am still not allowed to go to funerals.
What do U.S. airstrikes and dark humor have in common?
They're normally pointed towards Africa and the Middle East.
When you're banging the class slut and the school shooter says to leave his corpses alone.
A fat girl was dancing on the table, and I said, "Nice legs." She says, "You really think so?" And I say, "Yes, definitely, most tables would have been broken by now."