The jokes
My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.
She's not the only one who can play that game.
Your mama so fat, when she asked for a water bed they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.
What's the difference between a guy and a woman? They fall from different heights.
When the school shooter finds you and you think you’re gonna die, but he remembers the time you gave him a pen.
Little Johnny's sister, Suzy, sees her mom in the shower and asks, "What is that between your legs?" Her mom responds, "That is my garage." The next day, Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, "What is that between your legs?" Her dad answers, "It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy's garage." The next day, Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, "Why is there blood all over your hands, Suzy?" Suzy says, "Well... little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage, so I ripped its wheels off."
When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.
"Peado van, peado van, stay away, peado van, peado van, take her away."
I can't afford food, I can't afford childcare, might as well just get the money out of her.
The sun is out, and the pedo vans are out.
Parents, keep your kids away from ice cream vans. Once they hear the sound, you'll never see your kids again!
What's the motto for a pizza place that's also an abortion clinic: Your loss is our sauce.
I walked to the milk store and did not see my dad.
Enough of the jokes. It's time Togo back home. (hah, I wanna cry.)
As an Autist, I find these jokes really funny. Thanks for the early 13th birthday present, ya'll :>
Why are women like KFC? After you finish with the thigh and the breasts, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
I know this is a really bad poem, but I'll do it anyway 'cause I have nothing else to do.
'Twas so pretty a night, with people all asleep. Everyone's dreaming of that candy apple treat, and a palace. But alas! No, it's all a dream. Even eating ice cream, it's all a dream! Why can't I have this? Why can't I have that? BUT NO! It's just hitting you like a bat. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT, you say to yourself. All for me, all for me, and et cetera. It goes on and on. But why wish for riches? You're already rich enough. If you have a device, then take my advise, if you were poor you would have spent the money on food, like honey, not something that... OF ALL THINGS IS GOOGLE!
Like I said, it's really bad. :(
What did the walrus say when they lost the remote?
"Walrus the remote!"
Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite, and if they do, hit them with a shoe till they're all black and blue!
Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.
Jonny went to school one day, and later that day his dad got a call saying he needed to pick up his son because he had had sex with a teacher. When Jonny got home, his dad was so happy he went out to the store and bought him a bike. When they bought the bike, Jonny was offered to ride the bike, but he declined it and replied, "My butt still hurts."
Why are there not that many phones in China? Because there’s too much Wing and Wong, so they will "wing" the wrong number.
Walk into the club like, "Wow, I got a big penis!"