The jokes

It’s raining, it’s pouring. The old man is snoring. He got shot in the head and didn’t wake up in the morning.

My dad's the oldest, and when he was young, he shot my grandpa's balls off, but I thought about it. How does my dad have younger brothers?

Do you know the TV show "Naked and Afraid?" Well, that's what my grandpa and I played when I was young.

Grandpa said, "No phone near the table," so I said, "You're not allowed near the school."

I still remember my grandpa's last words, "Stop wobbling the ladder, you cunt!"

One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, “Yeah, what gave me away?” I said, “His parents.”

Mrs. Harolen: Students, tomorrow's assignment is to bring your parents to school for a conference with the teacher information.

Garen: I want to know who cannot bring their parents to a conference. ORPHANS!

Students: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Mrs. Harolen: Garen sit down! NOW!

Garen: Hey, why can't orphans get a dog? They don't have their parents to drive them to the animal shelter.

Halen: Yeah! Why are orphans racist? Because they never saw their parents with a different race!

Students: No, that's not funny!

Student: SHUT UP!

Why were the students jealous of the orphan?

He never had any homework!

(I'm going to hell for this)

Karien: Don't care. You know what you did.

Jalie: I don't know what you mean. I did nothing! I'm telling the truth!

Karien: Sure. So you mean you never texted Oerien last night around 2:00 AM?

Jalie: NO, I NEVER DID THAT!

Karien: Jalie, stop the story telling. You were the one who had my phone yesterday. Just stop.