The jokes
Some kid: Hey, did you know there's an orphanage down the street?!
Me: NO WAY! Wanna check it out?
Kid: NO, IT'S HAUNTED!!
Me: Haunted my ass, let's go!
Kid: Wait, isn't your house also haunted???
Me: Yea
Why do orphans like to play GTA?
Because it's the only time they are wanted.
Let's have toast in the bath.
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents can't push them on the swing!
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents can't push them on the swing!
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents aren't there to push them on the swing!
Why can orphans not get married?
They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!
Why did the autistic kid walk across a busy road?
He was chasing his mind and got hit by a car.
What do you call your Indian best friend who is the ABSOLUTE BEST at cunnilingus? A Curry Muncher.
Why do the orphans not play baseball?
They can never find home.
What did the koala do when he was too educated?
He ran away from koalapidia.
You're at a funeral. Your mum says be quiet, so you snigger at the body and say, "Bye forever, bitch."
Oh no, I feel bad for Stephen Hawking. He can’t get up the stairway to Heaven.
What is the difference between Hilary Duff and a computer? You only have to punch information into a computer once.
After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer.
The woman goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against the man and explains why.
Which city holds the record for the most suicides committed from a gorilla jumping off a tall building?
It was called Fall-adelphia.
Celebrate-By- watersharky Productions and Pitbull- Mr. Worldwide Let's celebrate. I just wanna celebrate. I just wanna celebrate. Tonight we're making history. I just wanna celebrate. We've been around the world, same song. Work hard, play hard, all day long. All the continents get jealous over me. You can see me 3D overseas. If you know me then you know where to find me Off in the Bahamas with a bad one behind me. Now live it up, live it up, live it up Baby pick it up, pick it up, pick it up And we gon' Boom boom around the world Boom boom no kidding girl Boom boom that's the way we like to play We gon' Boom boom around the world Boom boom no kidding girl Boom boom that's the way we like to play I just wanna celebrate. I just wanna celebrate. Tonight we're making history. I just wanna celebrate. Turn it up Turn it up I've been patiently waiting for you to shake and shake it Make it or take it The point is we made it Courted by the game, call us Tom Brady And it's not our fault that we have all the ladies But it's hard to see these ladies when your middle name's Equator All around the globe, matter fact see your later They're great, we're great at world war, dominators And we're also some smooth operators, and we gon' Boom boom around the world Boom boom no kidding girl Boom boom That's the way we like to play We gon' Boom boom around the world Boom boom no kidding girl Boom boom that's the way we like to play I just wanna celebrate. I just wanna celebrate. Tonight we're making history. I just wanna celebrate. Turn it up Turn it up Live it up (Live it up), don't let life live you (Live you) It's a good time (Good time), so we give you (Give you) Now live it up, live it up, live it up, live it up, live it up What you wanna do? I just wanna celebrate. I just wanna celebrate. Tonight we're making history. I just wanna celebrate. Turn it up Let's celebrate. Turn it up Let's celebrate.
Ok, here's a story about the church.
There were two parents, then they had a baby. Then they go to the church and the baby was getting a cross on his forehead. Guess he was big headed. Sorry if this offends anyone or makes this joke bad since I keep writing this.
The (DYM 137).
Why can't an orphan go to school?
They have no one to sign the parent signature.