Special ed jokes

What is the best way to kill a special ed kid?

Call them retarded.

What instrument does a special ed kid play? An autistic guitar.

What do Special Ed kids and fast kids have in common? They like to do things sped up.

What do you call a group of special ed kids with guns? Special forces.

What do you call a special ed class that’s flooded?

Vegetable soup.

If a special ed kid is late to class, is it okay to call me a little tardy?

What do you call a hot tub full of special ed students?

Vegetable Soup.

I don’t call it special ED, I call it mixed vegetables.

I asked my teacher if I needed to be in the special ED class, but she said I don’t eat enough vegetables.

Why do special ed classes have fans?

To keep the vegetables nice and fresh.

"Mixed vegetables is just special ed class, change my mind."

Me walking in to the office:

Principal: Tell me, what did you do?

Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...

We don't have school shooters; we have special ed breeches.

An autistic woman walks into a bar. "A serving of Screaming Banshee, please," she says.

The bartender says, "Ok, you seem to like it, unlike a retired special ed teacher that passed through a few minutes ago."