So jokes
Yo mama so fat, she doesn't need internet, because she's already WORLDWIDE!
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on the iPod...
SHE MADE THE IPAD!!!!!!!
Yo mama's so short, when it rains, she's the last to know!
Yo mama so smelly, she’s even banned from the perfume store!
Yo mama is so stupid, she had to retake preschool 20 times!
Yo mama is so smelly that whenever she steps outside, she pollutes the air!
Why don't people play hide-and-seek in the number 4?
Because it would take forever. Get it? "For-ever" and "4" four, so "four ever."
So, the sea is on a computer but doesn't know how to search, so the computer said to the sea, "Search!"
Do you get it? SEArch.
Yo momma is so ugly, when she tried to join the ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing.
My penis is too big for my dad to suck it, so my mum sucks it instead.
I had a horrible nightmare yesterday. I was in a room filled with all of my ex's, so I was completely alone.
My brother finally got his driver's license, so he took our new car out for a spin.
At least now I can have his phone he left.
A bicurious man goes to a gay bar.
A gay man offers him a drink.
The bi man explains he doesn't know if he's gay or not.
"That's fine," he says, "let's just have a drink."
The gay man asks him for a dance, and he explains again he isn't sure if he's gay or not.
Eventually, the gay man invites him to go home with him to hang out as friends.
They get to his house, and the gay man says, "Do you fancy having sex?"
He isn't sure, so the gay man explains, "I'll push in slow, and at any point you want to stop, make animal sounds, and if you like it, start singing."
So they get to it, and the gay man pushes in slowly, the bi man bursts out "MOOOOO MOOOOO MOOOOOOVVVEE CCLOSSEEERRRR"
What's worse than waking up with a dead baby next to you?
Realizing you were so drunk that you made love to it the night before...
Why are graveyards so popular? Because people are always dying to get into them.
So my friend and I went camping at a Cold Lake Campground and he jumped into it without any warning, and so I asked him, "Wat-er you doing?"
There was a dog in the middle of the room, so I called it and started to play fetch. Then my mother shouted at me for playing with my food. I missed it, but it was tasty.
So I got these new shoes, except they were from a drug dealer.
Now I don't know what they were laced with, but I was trippin' all day.
I was with my blind friend, and he's telling me, "Yeah, I can read braille." So I hand him a Lego brick and ask him to read it. Apparently, Lego has been hiding a dark secret from us for years; as all their bricks read, "Screw you, asshole."