Slicer jokes

I went to the local butcher's and asked him what happened to his Saturday boy. The butcher replies, "I had to fire him, I found him with his dick in the meat slicer!"

"What did you do with the meat slicer?" I asked.

The butcher says, "I had to fire her too!"

Alternative punchline:

"I had to call social services, she was only 14."

I got fired from a pickle factory for getting my finger caught in a slicer. They only gave *her* the day off with pay... unfair!

1 like = 1 more child in my blender.

People sometimes ask me why I cut myself. I usually answer that at least I can scan my worth at the supermarket.

Children should never run with scissors, and lesbians should never scissor with the runs.

playing irl fruit ninja on my arm.

when you don't have a phone to play Fruit Ninja and improvise.