I'm not suicidal, I'm just speedrunning life.
Mum: If your friend jumped off a cliff, would you?
Me: Oh yeah, no doubt my friend wouldn't even have to jump first.
My friend said he wanted to die, and I told him not to jump. But when he screamed, "Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and welcome to Jackass!" I knew it was over.
Suicide isn't a joke. It's called "parkour gone wrong."
People ask me if my friend jumps off a bridge, will I go as well? Of course not. I am a leader; I will go first, my friend will jump after me!
