Risk Taking jokes

I'm not suicidal, I'm just speedrunning life.

Mum: If your friend jumped off a cliff, would you?

Me: Oh yeah, no doubt my friend wouldn't even have to jump first.

My friend said he wanted to die, and I told him not to jump. But when he screamed, "Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and welcome to Jackass!" I knew it was over.

Suicide isn't a joke. It's called "parkour gone wrong."

People ask me if my friend jumps off a bridge, will I go as well? Of course not. I am a leader; I will go first, my friend will jump after me!

Fuck it, suicide is wrong, but if you jump off a bridge and yell "parkour," it's a failed stunt.

A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike, if the rubber breaks, you're f**ked.

"Go big or go home," that's what some people say.

"Go loud and proud," that's what other people say.

"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that's what I say.

I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I'm not gonna die the same way.