Risk Taking jokes

I'm not suicidal, I'm just speedrunning life.

Mum: If your friend jumped off a cliff, would you?

Me: Oh yeah, no doubt my friend wouldn't even have to jump first.

My friend said he wanted to die, and I told him not to jump. But when he screamed, "Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and welcome to Jackass!" I knew it was over.

Suicide isn't a joke. It's called "parkour gone wrong."

People ask me if my friend jumps off a bridge, will I go as well? Of course not. I am a leader; I will go first, my friend will jump after me!

I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I'm not gonna die the same way.

5 out of 6 scientists say Russian Roulette is safe.

A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike, if the rubber breaks, you're f**ked.

Fuck it, suicide is wrong, but if you jump off a bridge and yell "parkour," it's a failed stunt.

Me and a person downtown.

Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.

Me: I guess so.

Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?

Me: I don't know. I used to, but don't anymore.

Person: Why'd you stop?

Me: Unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.