Why did you put your dirty ass feet in my grits without telling me all this?
Because I forgot to wash and dry them with a paper towel.
My friend tried to sleep on napkins.
I guess that's why they're called NAP-kins.
What did one piece of toilet paper say to the other? "I feel really wiped."
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.
Q: Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
A: It did not want to get stuck in a crack.
What do you call a two-dimensional owl? A Paper Towl!
