Pampering jokes

What do you get from pampered cows?

Spoiled milk.

Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?

Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.

My girlfriend said she wanted to be pampered. I told her I wasn't into diaper fetishes.

A good man deserves a queen who will pussy slide on his penis casually, frig him with her thighs like a prostitute, make him laugh like a homie, cook like his mama.

Jump in the Cadillac. (Girl, let's put some miles on it.) Anything you want. (Just to put a smile on it.) You deserve it, baby, you deserve it all, And I'm gonna give it to you. Gold jewelry shining so bright, Strawberry champagne on ice, Lucky for you, that's what I like, that's what I like. Lucky for you, that's what I like, that's what I like.

-Tommyinnit

Isn't Gwen the most thoughtful person?

Knob Klondike, I want Ellen. Poobiess, please. I want big juicy pobs in me right now. Ellen girl, give milk boob to me with good Pochyy, babie.