Pampering jokes

Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?

Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.

My girlfriend said she wanted to be pampered. I told her I wasn't into diaper fetishes.

What do you get from pampered cows?

Spoiled milk.

Isn't Gwen the most thoughtful person?

Why is the lesbian lifestyle so expensive? -- They're always eating out.

... and they buy Rolexes for their neighbors, because they wanna watch.

Women treat me like a god.

They ignore me till they need something.

Jill goes home one night with a guy she met at a club. He's tall, super hot, and seems different than most guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. Jill can't help but notice a shelf full of teddy bears. On the bottom are small teddy bears, on the middle are medium-sized teddy bears, and finally, on the top are large teddy bears, all lined up beside each other.

She begins to think that he is sentimental and sweet, and isn't afraid to show it. Her heart melts and she want to give him the best night of his life. She gives him a blowjob, and lets him really give it to her, and even takes it in the rear! In the morning, she slowly gets dressed, and smiles at him and asks, "How was that?" He nods and says, "Not too fuckin' bad at all. Help yourself to a prize on the second shelf!"

Your tits look heavy. Need help holding them up?

Free service for tit holding!