Nuclear war jokes

Why do Japanese people hate Christmas?

Because the last time a "FatMan" went down their chimney they lost half of their population.

what song did people in Hiroshima listen to?

"Here Comes the Sun."

Husband: Dammit, Alice! I'm your husband, and I'm telling you that you better stay in this kitchen if you know what's good for you!

Wife: Go to hell, Bob! I'm leaving!

Ignoring my protective advice, Alice stormed out of our underground kitchen, even though it was the safest place to be while the nuclear war still raged outside.

Where did Sally go during the bombing?

Everywhere.

The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ...

so Trump can't tweet it.

I popped some fireworks and told my Vietnamese grandfather that World War 3 started.

Iran: We can beat the USA.

Japan is typing...

Roses are red, your cities are gone, I am Thomas the thermonuclear bomb.