Nuclear war

Nuclear war jokes

Bomb

  • Know the nuclear bombs of the world.

    🇷🇺🧨 a “bad” bomb

    🇨🇳🧨 “ww3”

    🇬🇧🧨 a “good” bomb

    🇺🇸🧨 Japanese area testing

    🇮🇱🧨 what bomb

    🇮🇷🧨 just self defence

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  • History

  • "History's repeating itself. WWIII is coming, and the second Russia nukes the U.S., they're all getting fucked."

    Bomb

  • President: Them damn flat faced n**g*rs!!

    Man: We have the power of the sun itself!

    President: Drop it on them!

    Man: You push the button.

    President: *sigh* Fine give it to me.

    Man: Hands over button

    President: Pushes it

    Both: YAAA!

    President: Bumps into the button pressing it again

    Both: Oh, sh*t!

    Meanwhile in Japan after the first bomb went off

    Japanese man: Ah sh*t here we go again

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  • Revenge

  • Little Johnny is my son, and he got hit by a semi-truck owned by a Russian. Now I am on my way on a nuclear submarine with a Burger King Whopper to Moscow, then take revenge for little Johnny!

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  • Kitchen

  • Husband: Dammit, Alice! I'm your husband, and I'm telling you that you better stay in this kitchen if you know what's good for you!

    Wife: Go to hell, Bob! I'm leaving!

    Ignoring my protective advice, Alice stormed out of our underground kitchen, even though it was the safest place to be while the nuclear war still raged outside.

    Christmas

  • Why do Japanese people hate Christmas?

    Because the last time a "FatMan" went down their chimney they lost half of their population.

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