No jokes
Yo mama is so ugly, she is the reason Slenderman has no eyes.
Why can’t an orphan celebrate Father’s Day and Mother’s Day? Because they have no parents.
I am trying to re-comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here.
Here are some rules to make a good joke:
1: Don't say “my life.”
2: Proofread your joke and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it.
3: And don’t repost things (although this last one is hypocritical because this was me trying to repost something, but it is still a good rule to go by).
Little Johnny was eating dinner with his family. His mother went around the table and asked, "Mark, what would you like to eat?" Mark said, "I'd like some fucking potatoes." *SMACK*! Mother slapped Mark. She then asked Suzie, "What would you like to eat?" "Well, I'd like some fucking potatoes," said Suzie. *SMAACK*! She slapped Suzie. "Okay, Johnny, what would you like to eat?" "Well.... I sure as hell don't want no fucking potatoes."
I'm starting a clown shoe store.
It's no small feat! :oD
What's bald and can't grow no hair?
A kid with cancer.
Why doesn't a skeleton dance? Because he had no body to dance with. Lol, Sans.
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger-licking good.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They don't know what home is.
Friend 1: How can the skeleton tell it was going to rain?
Me: He could feel it in his bones.
Friend 1: No, he read the forecast, you fucking idiot!
Heheh ;3
Have you ever walked in to Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
If you're ever down one day, just go to the orphanage and bully an orphan because what is he going to do about it? He has no parents.
Employer: Can you perform under pressure?
Me: No, but I do a pretty good "Bohemian Rhapsody."
Waitress: You wanna box for your leftovers?
Me: No, but I'll arm wrestle you for the check.
Waitress: You wanna box for your leftovers?
Me: No, but I'll arm wrestle you for the bill.
My friends: Ugh, why are you so lazy and no fun?
My parents: Why can't you be like your siblings?
My teacher: I don't care if you're depressed, focus on your study!
The songs: We understand you :)
Me: Mom, I'm tired.
Mom: "Then go to sleep."
Me: No, you don't understand-
Mom: I saw John Cena at WWE.
Son: No way, you can’t see him though.
Mom: God!
Son: What?
Mom: You watch too much reality TV (comes to smack butt).
Son: Also because I’m John Cena.
Mom: Where, where’d ya go?
John Cena: Hey, Mom.
Mom: I’m only 31, you’re 42.
Why can’t orphans get in trouble?
Because there’s no one to give a phone call home to.
Guy is at athletic meet. Asks guy if he is a pole vaulter.
He replies, "No I am German and how did you know my name was Walter?"