No jokes

Why can't orphans have sex?

Because they have no one to call "daddy."😳

Jantje goes on a walk with his grandmother. Jantje sees 1 dollar on the street and picks it up.

The grandmother says: "Hey, Jantje! No picking up things from the floor! They are ugly and bad!"

Then they keep walking. The grandmother slips and asks Jantje to help her stand up. Jantje answers: "No! Everything on the ground is ugly and bad."

Your forehead's so big, when you were being born, the doctors thought you had no face.

You know what would be the best last thing to say before you die? "No, you certainly can't." JFK's assassin certainly can!

They asked JFK Jr. if he wanted to shower before his flight. He said, "No, I'll just wash up on shore!"

On my Tinder profile, I said, "I prefer quality over quantity." I just thought it sounded nicer than saying "no fat birds."

My wife said to me, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?"

I said, "Where the fuck did that come from?!"

Guy: Are you depression? 'Cause you're crippling me.

Car driver: No, I'm the guy that hit you with his car and crippled you.

Guy: Don't worry, I was already crippled because I got crippling depression.

(True story)

One day Sally's mom said, "I can just eat you up!" And Sally says, "No, you can't!" Then the mom asks why and Sally says, "Because I'm a beaner, and we don't taste good."