Misplacement jokes

I got banned from the library for putting a book about woman's rights in the fantasy section.

I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. -- I lost my case.

Why do people misplace 9/11 with emo kids? They both have a high death count.

Hey, I misplaced 2.1 trillion a few days ago, on September 7th, 2001.

I lost my virginity once and found it in a store being sold off.

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.

I don't like to use the word "kidnapping". So I just use the term: "surprise adoption."

I got sent out of a library for putting a women's rights book in the fiction section.

You got a dig bick.

You read that wrong.

You read that wrong too.

Maybe you read that wrong as well.

You just went and back-checked.

You reread all of that.

You have a pet wussy.

You read that wrong...

You need mental help.