mid-life jokes

The 5 year old with cancer is going through a mid-life crisis.

Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?

A: He was in a mid-life crisis.

My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"

The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."

Why was the Ethiopian baby crying?

It was having a mid-life crisis.

I was out for dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I, being 42, had many people shouting at me, scolding me, calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.

Life is like a dick, it just gets hard for no reason.

People say that life is short.

I say... life is the longest thing we ever do.

You know what relationships and life? They both come to an end.

A 10-year-old: "I don't want to smile without having a reason to. People shouldn't think I'm happy 24/7."

A 10-year-old, a week later: "Damn... my life is shitty..."

<2 years later> 12-year-old: "What is de-pre-ssion?" *googles it*

Now 14-year-old: "Oh..."