Worst Jokes Ever

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Heroin Monkey

The image shows two pictures. The first picture shows a train on a bridge in a mountainous area. There is text below it stating, "Switzerland's military has remained neutral since 1815, but the entire country is rigged to explode. Thousands of demolition points are wired into bridges, highways, and railroads across the nation so that everything can be destroyed if invaders attack". The second picture shows a man holding a belt with a worried expression. The text below the man states, "WHO'S THERE? I HAVE A BELT AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO HANG MYSELF".

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a golden retriever. The first image is a full body picture. The second image is a close-up view of the dog's eyes and snout. The text reads: "This boi can smell people who are beautiful and deserve love."

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a series of panels from a movie with text overlay. The first panel shows a character in dark clothing asking, "Who are you?". The next panel shows a character with long hair, stating "I am Aragorn, King of Gondor". The third panel has the same long haired character, but the text says: "I didn't vote for you." followed by: "I was given Anduril by Elrond, Lord of Rivendell". The fourth panel says: "Listen, strange elf lords distributing swords is no basis for a system of government." and shows a character with a sword, the next panel below this one shows the same character shouting: "Shut up!". In the last panel the character says: "Help! Help! I'm being repressed!"

DAP ME UP

who ever doesn't dap this man up gets nuked by Kim Jong Un

big [fire] balls

The image shows four panels, using characters from the Phineas and Ferb show. The first two panels show Perry the Platypus logging into a new device, first a smartphone, then a laptop. The third panel shows Doofenshmirtz yelling "WHO ARE YOU?!" and the last panel shows Doofenshmirtz saying "Oh good, you're back! Did you know that some hacker just tried to hack your account?"

Heroin Monkey

A photo of two children. The older one has her arm around the younger one. Above the older child is written "Physcopath", above the younger one is written "Serial Killers", and below them is written "People who take a picture of their computer screen with their phone instead of screenshotting."

Heroin Monkey

A man in a military uniform with a black beret holding two guns. The text above the man reads "Me on my way to the local park to remind geese that it is man who is made in Gods image."

Why should you care

me right now

A picture of Liam Neeson on the phone with the text "I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE BUT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY A CAR?"

Anonymous

A white kitten with heterochromia is shown with a loading symbol on their forehead. The text on the image reads "So tell me more about yourself" Me, trying to remember who I am.

DIANEE

The image is a meme with a split panel. The left side shows a fierce red dragon exhaling fire, with the text "AN ANCIENT BEING CAPABLE OF FLYING AND BREATHING FIRE." The right side shows a red 20-sided die, with the text "ONE CRITICAL BOI." Above both panels, it reads "WHO WOULD WIN?"

Heroin Monkey

The image contains text from a news article reporting that Luigi Mangione, who was arrested for the murder of United Healthcare CEO Brian Thompson, was part of a group of Ivy League gamers who played a game similar to Among Us. It mentions the game in the text.

♢ Shy Dragon ♢

This is SLIGHTLY wrong

The image shows a google search result for 'Who is most popular football player?' The highlighted answer is 'Cristiano Ronaldo'. However, the image next to the text is of Lionel Messi. The text below says: "He is known for his incredible speed and scoring ability. Cristiano Ronaldo is a popular face in the world of professional football. He is a Portuguese professional footballer who is considered one of the greatest players of all time. 14. mars 2024"

Cocel 😮💨

The image shows two panels. The top panel has an image of a helicopter refilling from a pool, with the text: "Helicopter re-filling from my pool to go fight fires and save lives:". The bottom panel shows a close up of a monkey looking nervously from side to side with the text: "Me who just filled the pool with gasoline:".

Jazzy💕

Me bitchhhhhhhhh

A young boy with brown hair smirks slightly at the camera with the caption "guess who's feeling extra emotionally unstable today"

CrunchyGrapes?

Who here plays blox fruits?

A Roblox character with white wings is standing in a video game environment. A speech bubble above the character says, "Selling toenails for fruit pls." Below the character is a user interface that displays "Safe Zone - PvP disabled". Below that is another user interface with six slots and icons, e.g. a claw and a jaguar head.

Mafuyu Asahina

WHO IS READY FOR THE FNAF MOVIE ?!?!?!?

A photo of four stuffed animal versions of the characters from "Five Nights at Freddy's". From left to right: Freddy, Foxy, Chica, and Bonnie. The text overlay on the image says, "The Cute Ending".

~MACKEN~

A screenshot of a text message conversation. One person says they heard the other failed English. The second person responds with typos and grammatical errors like "who telled you?" and "it is unpossible," and "I sawed the result yesterday, I passed away," proving the first person's point. The conversation ends with an exchange of "Okay bye" and "Bye bye. God blast u...!!!"

Heroin Monkey

bro wtf is tihs ad

A video game ad showing a baby crawling away from a man in an orange shirt in a house. The text says, "Play Whos Your Daddy. Play Around In Your Two-Story House And Garden Packed With Potentially Dangerous Items. Sponsored. MaxLevelFun. Download"

Heroin Monkey

It's like 5:00pm, and Mom is driving me home as we
speak. I can't fucking believe that my mother is a
whore. I witnessed my own mother pleasing another man
and I feel disgusting.
During the ride, we didn't speak to each other for
about 30 minutes. All of a sudden, Mom asked if I
could forget everything that happened today. I said I
would, but I knew that this hoe could not step another
foot into this household.
GREG, LISTEN.
HOW ABOUT
WE FORGET
ABOUT WHAT
HAPPENED
TODAY?
YEAH, SURE.
WHATEVER.
@gabriel
She then asked me not to tell Dad about this. I said
I wouldn't, but you can't make a promise to a hoe who
breaks her wedding vows.

Lil’ bro

The image displays a text asking, "Who invited the giant, furry peanut?" then answers with the text "Aunt Grizelda" in a light green box below the question. The background shows tree branches with green leaves and a blue sky.

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