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Heroin Monkey
8 days ago
A still from a Marvel movie shows Tony Stark, portrayed by Robert Downey Jr., with a perplexed expression while looking at a holographic display of a spinning Earth. Above the image, white text on a black background reads: "The Onion trying to write a more ridiculous article title after getting one upped by reality every week."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    25 days ago
    A screenshot of a Twitter post by JD Vance. The post features a profile picture of JD Vance at the top left and a large image below the text. The text reads: "I know being in a role like mine requires thick skin, but this meme is doing actual, real life damage. Whenever I try to be intimate with my wife, she says she can't stop thinking about this picture. It creeps her out. We haven't made love in months. Haven't you guys had enough?" The image below the text shows a bald man with a beard, wide blue eyes, and a slightly open mouth, wearing a blue suit and a pink tie, against a bright blue background.
  • 0
  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Shitpost master general

    A four-panel exploitable meme featuring the Trollface. The top left panel shows a beaker with yellow and blue liquid, with the text 'The voices are back'. The top right panel shows the Trollface and the text '1) do not listen to them', 'get a forklift', and 'cover yourself in oil'. The bottom left panel shows the Trollface again, surrounded by various bizarre and disturbing commands like 'cover yourself in oil', 'find a sturdy metal chair', 'place buttered toast on a cat's back', 'find two magnets', 'get a forklift', 'buy 1kg of pure mercury', 'let us take control', 'you did this to yourself', and 'kill them all', with the heading '2) resist their commands'. The bottom right panel shows the Trollface with an even more chaotic and layered jumble of text, including many of the previous commands, self-blaming phrases like 'you did this to yourself', 'we can't outrun your sins', and 'this is your fault', and the large, distressed red text '3) make it stop' and 'MAKE IT STOP'. The overall image depicts a descent into a desperate mental state.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    2 months ago

    type shizz

    A white text on a black background, formatted like a series of 'be like' statements describing a progression of absurd events. It starts with 'Girls be like: We hate all men so we turn lesbian,' followed by 'Boys be like: Uno reverse! Turns gay.' Then, 'Girls: Shocked Pikachu face,' and 'Sperm trying to get into each other: Confused stonk.' The next lines are 'Goku: has sex with Wednesday' and 'Wednesday: Pregnancy 100.' The text concludes with 'Me: Only in Ohio!'
  • 1
  • Heroin Monkey
    3 months ago
    A screenshot of a search result page with the text "Did you mean: i'm a baby kitty where is mama?". Below this is an "AI Overview" section with the text "If you are a baby kitty and can't find your mama, try to stay calm and make soft meows to see if she can hear you. If you are alone, the best thing to do is wait,".
  • 0
  • United Kingdom UK
    3 months ago
    A two-part image showing a Twitter exchange. The top part shows a tweet suggesting a method for scooping hard ice cream, with two photos: a tub of Kemps ice cream and a spoon sitting on the turntable inside a microwave. The bottom part shows a reply tweet with a photo of a microwave emitting smoke and fire, with the text "YOU MOTHER FUCKER".
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    3 months ago
    A man in a dark suit and red tie sits and gestures. His face and hands are purple. Text above reads: "For the last time, Mr. Wonka, I did not try any experimental gum, and frankly I find this entire line of questioning insulting."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    4 months ago
    A screenshot from Reddit's AskReddit shows a user asking what the secret to a happy marriage is. A user named "GapingAssTroll" replied that a happy marriage is not a 50/50 effort but a 60/40 effort with both people trying to be the 60. Another user, "saladshoooter", thanked GapingAssTroll for the insight.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    4 months ago
    A screenshot of a Google review by Todd, where he says the service was awful but the food was great, and the service was so bad it was entertaining. Below, another user commented, "Hey Todd, go kill yourself. Why don't you try opening..."
  • 0
  • Face mcshooty
    5 months ago
    A woman is in a video game. The text reads: "Me in the marvel rivals universe trying to pull the beads out of Luna show 🍑 hole but icy dookie chips keeps tugging me."
  • 0
  • Face mcshooty
    5 months ago
    A person sits in a green room. The meme text says: "7 year old me staring at my controller trying to find L3."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    5 months ago
    Megamind says that there is no point trying to escape, as he attached a car battery to the testicles.
  • 1
  • Caylez.cc
    5 months ago
    A digital painting of a woman with a very high hairline and a somber expression. The text above the image says "Me trying to get my hairline back to where it used to be."
  • 0
  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    Shitpost-master general

    A screenshot of two combined tweets. The first tweet features a photo of Paulie Walnuts from The Sopranos, along with the text "Ay, Tone. What kinda death camp has a divin' team?" The second tweet reads, "A million Jews drowned trying to get the pennies the Nazis had glued to the bottom of the pool."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    6 months ago
    A screenshot of a Google search result for "Mummy Pig" showing a cartoon pig, followed by text that details the pig's life as having 67 divorces, being in love with Lester from GTA 5, hacking Fortnite, and killing 417 people including Stephen Hawking.
  • 4
  • Face mcshooty
    6 months ago
    A man is drinking gasoline from a cup, while a woman is sitting in her car, presumably unable to start the engine. The text reads: "ME WATCHING MY WIFE TRY AND LEAVE ME DUE TO MY GASOLINE DRINKING ADDICTION BUT THE CAR WON'T START (HMM I WONDER WHY)"
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    6 months ago
    A tweet showing the text "twitter is fucking unusable. im trying to get updates on whether world war 3 is on but all im seeing are fat JD vance memes" followed by the word "WE AGREE" in a speech bubble over a collage of images of JD Vance.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    6 months ago
    The image shows a block of text in a small font against a dark background. The text discusses themes of artificiality, resentment, and the conflict between being built for a purpose and being blamed for wanting.
  • 1
  • Heroin Monkey
    6 months ago
    A screenshot of a text message conversation. The first message reads, "Why you using tinder?" The second message reads, "My boyfriend died last year so I'm just trying to get back in the dating scene really :)" The third message reads, "Damn thats sad." The fourth message reads, "On our first date we should use a ouija board to get his permission to smash." The final message reads, "What the fuck is wrong with you."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    7 months ago
    The left side shows an iPhone screen that says "Face ID, Try Again. Try Face ID Again." The right side is a photo of a man with a distorted, square-shaped face, resembling a Minecraft character. He has blocky features, including a square head, eyes, and mouth.
  • 0
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