Worst Jokes Ever

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Shes Memes

Anonymous

A woman's face is covered in white fluid. The text says "If a girl gives you this look, it means she might have a crush on you. You can tell by the slight angle of her smile."

Heroin Monkey

A close-up image of a monstrous-looking dog with large teeth and a harness on its face. The text overlaid on the bottom of the image reads: 'pitbull owners be like "her name is pancake and she's a sweetheart."'

Anonymous

Dad: Do you wanna know what your sister said while she
lost her virginity?
Son: Dad, please stop this is inappropriate
Dad: Exactly

Anonymous

Hotter than the sun.

The image shows Spongebob lying on the ground with a dark shadow overlayed on his face and body. The text reads: "When you missed the eclipse so she recreates it for you."

Anonymous

SNED HELP?!?!?!?

A Pinterest feed showing four different images. The first image on top left features hands forming a heart. The image next to it shows a drawing of a person with a hoodie, next to it the drawing is the text "40000000 000000054 get so cute". The bottom left image shows a stick-figure drawing titled "How to talk to short people" with instructions on how to have a better communication with short people. The last image on the bottom right shows an advertisement for "Wildmant Modal Big Briefs".

Anonymous

What y'all think of my drawing?? And don't mind May....she was calling me gay

A drawing of three faces with text "how to draw a man's face" at the top. Two faces are drawn in black ink, one with slightly open eyes and mouth, the other one with closed lips. The third face is drawn in red ink and has a furrowed brow.

Heroin Monkey

The image is a four-panel meme. The first panel shows a blue transparent human skull and the text says "Calling everyone either 'he' or 'she'". The second panel shows a transparent blue human head with a bright spot in the brain and the text says "Calling everyone by their preferred gender pronouns". The third panel shows a red silhouette of a man with a raised fist and the Soviet Union flag in the background and the text says "Calling everyone 'comrade'". The last panel shows a blue-toned superhero with an Australian flag in the background and the text says "Calling everyone a cunt."

shaylie lol

The image shows a cartoon character of Marge Simpson pulling at her hair, with another version of Marge coming out of her pulled hair. The text at the top says, "My mom when she brushed my hair for school." There is a web address at the bottom, "boredpanda.com".

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a picture of Luce Irigaray at the top. Below, there is an excerpt from an article discussing her views on physics and sex. At the bottom there is a picture of Fry from Futurama with the caption: "I HAVE TRANSCENDED ABOVE AND BEYOND THE EMOTION OF ANGER".

Thoughtless

The image shows a person with yellow skin and a green shirt pointing with their left hand at an anime girl. A text box says, "Don't look at her, she is temporary, communism is forever!" and below is the communist hammer and sickle in a red circle.

♢ Shy Dragon ♢

Cherish you chocolate milk.

A cartoon character named Charlie is shown above a glass of chocolate milk. Text on the image states, "Charlie has bought you some chocolate milk. She shall return Wednesday."

Heroin Monkey

The 6 year old at Walmart
directing his morbidly obese
mother while she parks her
mobility scooter

Heroin Monkey

The image is a three-panel meme. The top panel shows an anime character with pink hair and heart graphics around her. The text says 'She protecc'. The middle panel shows the same character with her fist up ready to strike. The text says 'She attacc'. The bottom panel shows Formula 1 driver Max Verstappen in his racing suit and the text says 'But most importantly, max verstappen'.

shaylie lol

A doll in a pink box looks as if she's just realized she farted. The image contains the text: "She looks like she farted in the box and it finally hit her."

Heroin Monkey

An image depicts three children sitting around a table that's covered with various pills. The text above them reads: "grandma is dead so lets eat all of her pills". One of the children also has a text bubble saying: "She Won't Be Needing Those Anymore!"

Heroin Monkey

The image shows two panels. The first one shows an older man with a long white beard, presumably Noah, looking somewhat confused, with the text "Noah?" underneath. The second panel shows Noah with a glowing effect, as if illuminated from within, with the text "Get the boat." underneath. Above these two panels is the text: "A friend got mad at me for smelling his sister's underwear. I don't know if it was because she was still wearing them or because the rest of the family was there. Either way it made the rest of the funeral very awkward."

Heroin Monkey

A Twitter post with the text "I squeeze my girl when she on her period cause she my Lil ketchup packet" above an image of two men. The bottom image has the text "My FBI agents" over it.

Heroin Monkey

A tweet by Sarah Cooper says: Titanic (1997). Scientist: Where's the diamond? Old lady: *three hour long story about how she lost her virginity*

Thoughtless

Remember when Calvin wanted to commit a school shooting?

A cartoon drawing on a sheet of notebook paper shows a boy named Calvin drawing himself in a tank. He draws himself firing the tank at a school building where kids are jumping out the window. Miss Wormwood comes to stop him. In the last panel, Calvin's teacher Miss Wormwood is shown taking a drawing from a student and making a comment about public schools.

Heroin Monkey

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

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