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A Twitter post with the text "I squeeze my girl when she on her period cause she my Lil ketchup packet" above an image of two men. The bottom image has the text "My FBI agents" over it.

A tweet by Sarah Cooper says: Titanic (1997). Scientist: Where's the diamond? Old lady: *three hour long story about how she lost her virginity*

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

2024

The image shows a split view of the same person. On the left, they have shorter hair, makeup and wear a green t-shirt, with the text "What are your Pronouns?" written in yellow. On the right, they are shirtless with facial hair, and text in purple that says "I'm a She/Them Titties".

A man, Jeffrey Epstein, smiles at the viewer. In the background are two women. The text overlay says: "I asked Hillary to be my valentines, but she left me hanging."

The image is a screenshot of a 4chan post with green text on a black background. It depicts a dystopian scenario in a future where Hillary Clinton has become a supreme ruler and implemented a series of drastic measures.

The image displays a text that says "Boomer ladies: Hahah minion memes. Millennial girls: oh no, Donald Trump racist. 14 y.o girls:". Below there is an image of a girl with superimposed text that reads "SHE SHITS HERSELF".

trixiedixie🥰

An image of a Hello Kitty figurine with red eyes and a blood-splattered knife. The text overlay reads: "In the day, she likes Hello Kitty. At night she drops the 'O'."

The image shows text in white font on a grey background. It reads: "If a woman is uncomfortable watching you masturbate, she: A. Has intimacy issues. B. Is frigid. C. Needs to sit somewhere else on the bus."

The image shows a picture of Jeffrey Epstein with the text 'I asked Hillary to be my Valentine' at the top and 'She left me hanging' at the bottom.

it all makes sense now 😮😮😮

The image has the title "Cooties" followed by a definition. "Diseases that the opposite sex has that gives you a reason to not be around them. When you get older, cooties becomes known as 'STDs.'" It then gives two examples: "Age 8: 'Ewww... She has cooties, I can't talk to her!'" and "Age 15: 'Ewww... She has herpes, I can't sleep with her!'"

A painting of Jesus with a ray of light coming from him towards a woman kneeling before him. The text says: "JESUS. Ray that turns you into French for your sins. Woman crying because she doesn't want to be French."

The image shows a green cartoon character with red eyes. Below the image is text of a story about a date gone wrong, ending with the line "That's my story of how I got cockblocked by motherfucking al qaeda."

sad

An image of the character Bonnie from Five Nights at Freddy's, looking sad with a cigarette in his mouth. The text on the image reads: "She was my chica until I found out she spent 5 nights at Freddy's."

The image shows a series of posts. The first post asks, "Remember in college you were making out with Betty from your CompSci class and she put a finger up your butt. So you started questioning your sexual preference?" with a reply, "IT WAS MY FINGER BARRY!". The second post starts with, "Remember when you were jacking off with no clothes on for the first time just to try it out? Remember when your Mom walked by and saw everything, even though you were sure that you had closed the door?" followed by the reply, "It was me, Barry! I opened the door! And don't think for a moment that I didn't see everything too!!". The third post reads, "Remember that wet dream that ruined your favorite cartoon bed spread as a teen?!" with the reply "IT WAS ME, BARRY! I JERKED YOU OFF IN YOUR SLEEP!!"

The image is divided into two panels. The left panel shows Patrick Star from SpongeBob SquarePants under a large mushroom. The text reads, "When she on top and it slips out and misses on re-entry." The right panel shows the Pink Panther standing in front of a fireplace. The text reads, "When he asks you to warm up dinner."

A still from a movie with two characters, a man and a woman looking surprised. The text reads: "When she wants Netflix and chill but the show is actually pretty good."

A close-up of Megamind's face, colored blue with the text: "SHE SAID HER FAVORITE COLOR WAS BLUE SO I BLUE HER UP (ARAB RIZZ)"

A close-up of Woody from Toy Story with a wide-eyed and screaming facial expression. The text above the image reads: "When she says go deeper so u go to infinity and beyond."

The image is a four-panel comic. In the first panel, one stick figure is yelling at another stick figure, “BILLY! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!” In the second panel, the stick figure, now identified as Billy, is looking down at a small, bloody character. There is a speech bubble that says, “She likes me as a friend, but I still have hope.” In the third panel, a stick figure is holding a club with a speech bubble that says, “End his suffering.”

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