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Shrek

24 views · biscuit · 2 years ago

shrek has a potato for a nose

An illustration from a children's book showing a green, ogre-like character named Shrek standing over a dead peasant on the ground. Shrek is wearing a pink and purple tunic and green pants. He has laser beams coming from his eyes that are heating a piece of food on a large rock. The peasant lies on the ground, wearing a yellow tunic and red pants. The text below describes Shrek's interaction with the peasant and how the peasant died from seeing Shrek, while Shrek used his "microwave eyes" to heat his meal.
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    • Corner

    5 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    The image shows a text list titled 'Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator'. The list provides humorous and absurd actions to perform inside an elevator.
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    • Corner

    25 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    A list of ten things to do in an elevator. The text reads: Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator. 1. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 2. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" 3. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" 4. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking. 5. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on". 6. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly. 7. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 8. Dress up as the devil and then ask other people as they get in, "Going down?" 9. Drag a desk into the elevator. Ask "Do you have an appointment?" 10. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."
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