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Chuck Norris

16 views · Heroin Monkey · 8 months ago
A meme featuring Chuck Norris smiling, with one leg raised and wearing a boot. Text above him reads 'GUYS BEAT THEIR MEAT'. Text next to him says 'CHUCK NORRIS shat in a Red Lobster urinal 20 years ago'.
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    • Plan

    20 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    An image shows a screenshot of a group called "Plans to create and worship our leviathan lobster god", with a description explaining how to grow a lobster to divinity. Below is an image of a hand hovering over a button that says "Join Group!"
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    • Lobster

    28 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    1) buy a lobster [deleted] by My friend is in forensics and works on crime scenes. They find a woman laying on the bathroom floor with a head wound and live baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt residue. After 3 days of investigation, they figured out what happened. Long story short, she bought a lobster from the market. In the market, they feed the lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This woman brings the lobster home, inserts the lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter and puts the flame towards the lobster's head, so the lobster will frantically start shaking his tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from burning his head too long, the lobster, being dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This woman then goes to pee and sees live baby shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks out, falls, and cracks her head open on the bathtub and dies. it happened in Chicago in 2001 ? --- 14 1) wait for horny Chicago 2001 "Lobster Love" Incident
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