Worst Jokes Ever

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Heroin Monkey

A person in a red uniform shows a screen with code to a bear walking away in the forest. The text above the image says: "If you meet a bear in the forest, just ask him to review your pull request so he pretends he didn't notice you and goes away".

Thoughtless

Remember when Calvin wanted to commit a school shooting?

A cartoon drawing on a sheet of notebook paper shows a boy named Calvin drawing himself in a tank. He draws himself firing the tank at a school building where kids are jumping out the window. Miss Wormwood comes to stop him. In the last panel, Calvin's teacher Miss Wormwood is shown taking a drawing from a student and making a comment about public schools.

Jfkisafk

Help he took my gopro

A man with a distorted face is looking into the camera. He's wearing a red hoodie and black pants. The background appears to be a room with wooden floors and a white door.

Heroin Monkey

A woman is lying in bed looking annoyed. Next to her is a giant egg. The text above the image reads: "Her: he's probably thinking about other girls... Him: I am egg". There is a Twitter account name of @DennysDiner above the text.

Heroin Monkey

The image contrasts two items. On the left, a white VR headset is displayed with the description "-$3499", "Looks dumb", "Tech overlord worship", "Scaring the hoes", "Weird tanline", "Instantly outdated". On the right, a pile of white powder is displayed with the description "-$3200", "Oh he got money", "Elegant luxury", "Hoes delighted", "Culturally significant", "Timeless aesthetic".

Heroin Monkey

The image is a screenshot of a 4chan post with green text on a black background. It depicts a dystopian scenario in a future where Hillary Clinton has become a supreme ruler and implemented a series of drastic measures.

Anonymous

When he shares screen on call

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a blue circle with a point on top. Underneath is a scene from the movie 'The Emperor's New Groove' with Kronk saying "No, no. He's got a point".

Heroin Monkey

Two tweets from user @xMangojuice. The first one says: "2star yelp review @xMangojuice. went camping with my uncircumcised friend and he didn't even bring a sleeping bag? lol he's gonna be freezing tn". The second one says: "2star yelp review @xMangojuice. oh my god wait what is he doing".

Ness Plays

Why?

A man and a woman are lying in bed next to each other. The woman is looking at the man and thinking, "I bet he's thinking about other women." The man is looking up and thinking, "Why is a pizza box a square, the pizza a circle, and the slices are triangles?"

Heroin Monkey

The image shows three panels. The top two panels show an anime character with dark hair in emotional distress. The text reads "Sometimes I'm not me" and "Sometimes He controls me". The bottom panel shows a bright green cartoon character with red gloves.

Ness Plays

Troo

The image shows two pictures. On the left is a muscular dog and the text "Silly Inc" below a picture of Mike Wazowski from Monsters Inc. On the right is a picture of a dog with a person's head with a balaclava on and the text below "He is stronger than me".

Wade

This is real, sorta

A movie poster style image with Arnold Schwarzenegger front and center, looking serious. He's in a red State Farm polo shirt. Behind him are people. At the bottom, a family, and another State Farm agent rescuing a girl from an explosion. The text says "SCHWARZENEGGER" at the top, "AGENT STATE FARM" in the middle, and "WHEN THE WORLD NEEDED A GOOD NEIGHBOR, HE WAS THERE." plus additional small print.

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a quote from Abraham Lincoln stating that the people should overthrow those who pervert the Constitution. Below the quote, there are comments about Abraham Lincoln and a discussion about the ability to pull buttcheeks apart and back together without using hands. The comment section shows usernames and time stamps.

Heroin Monkey

A person is holding a worm up to their nose as if they are going to snort it. The text says: "If God didn't want us to snort worms... He wouldn't have made them cylindrical!!! WORM SNORTING CLUB. Every Monday and Thursday! Location changes often!" The background is a colorful, psychedelic swirl pattern.

Heroin Monkey

Heroin Monkey

A picture shows Spongebob Squarepants dressed as a wizard, hanging from a rope. Text above the image reads: "After Spongebob realizes he cannot revive Hitler using black magic, he hangs himself." Text below the image says: "Saddest Suicide Story-You Will Cry" and "26,524 views"

Heroin Monkey

A four-panel comic shows a man cuddling a dog, speaking 'yuss, gimme kissus.' In the second panel, a second man says 'Gross! He was licking his balls 30 seconds ago!' The third panel shows the first man with a surprised face and the dog looking normal. In the fourth panel, the first man looks disgusted and apologetic, saying '...I'm sorry.'

Heroin Monkey

The top panel shows a cartoon character, Phineas, looking pregnant with a pink heart coming out of his belly button. Below it is a man in medieval armor holding a shotgun with the text "ME" above him, and the text "*pumps shotgun with religious intent*" below him.

Heroin Monkey

A dog is on top of a raw turkey in a roasting pan. The image is a screenshot of a text message conversation. The first message says "OMG GET DOWN HERE! THOR GOT THE TURKEY!! HE'S HUMPING IT AND SNARLING AT EVERYONE!!!". The second says "My baby's in love!". The third message says "MOM NOT FUNNY! What are we going to do?? We have people to feed!". The last message says "Oh relax, we'll just wash it off and cook it. No one will know."

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