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Herring Memes

Heroin Monkey

The image displays a comparison of outfits for a first date. On the left, labeled "Her:" is a pink top, black shorts, white shoes and a black purse. On the right, labeled "Me:" is a black t-shirt with the text "I'M NOT A GYNECOLOGIST BUT I'LL TAKE A LOOK", yellow shorts with beer graphics and red Crocs. The word "Beer" is on the short.

Heroin Monkey

FEBRUARY
Saturday
Right, I know it's been a while since I wrote in this,
but a whole lot has happened so let me fill you in on
everything.
Manny Heffley is the personification of human sin. Do
you wanna know the reason he tried to get me killed?
DATS FOWR NAWT
TEACHING ME HOW
TWO TIE MY SHOES,
YOU FUCKING PLOOPY.
I'M ONWEE
THWEE, BUBBY!
HEWP ME TIE MY
GAWDDAYUM
SHOES.
So I punted that little shit into the wall..
I should have paid more attention to Miom though, because
she actually stuck by her word for once. She managed to
shoot me in both legs and break i
my.
fucking kneecaps.
11

Heroin Monkey

It's like 5:00pm, and Mom is driving me home as we
speak. I can't fucking believe that my mother is a
whore. I witnessed my own mother pleasing another man
and I feel disgusting.
During the ride, we didn't speak to each other for
about 30 minutes. All of a sudden, Mom asked if I
could forget everything that happened today. I said I
would, but I knew that this hoe could not step another
foot into this household.
GREG, LISTEN.
HOW ABOUT
WE FORGET
ABOUT WHAT
HAPPENED
TODAY?
YEAH, SURE.
WHATEVER.
@gabriel
She then asked me not to tell Dad about this. I said
I wouldn't, but you can't make a promise to a hoe who
breaks her wedding vows.

Heroin Monkey

MOM WHAT
THE FUCK!?
HOLY SHIT,
IT'S GREG!
MOM was GIVING HER WHOLE HEAD to Mr.
Winsky, and Vice Principal Roy is FUCKING DEAD!
As soon as I walked in these fuckers immediately acted
like they weren't just fucking crawling over each other.
That filthy homewrecker Mr. Winsky sent Mom and told
her to take me home. Fucking delinquents.
I have to tell Dad that Mom is a whore somehow. This
bitch needs to be sent to the streets.
3

Anonymous

POV its late at night and your wife lickes her lips

A close-up image of a dog's face with its mouth open, teeth showing, and one eye squinting. The dog is looking to the side, and its expression appears mischievous.

MEME LORD

A man with a sweaty face looking exhausted. The text on the image is: "When u RAW DOGGIN her for 3 hours straight with back to back rounds & she stops *sighs* & says 'Do u think they'll ever find a cure for AIDS?'"

Heroin Monkey

A newspaper clipping with the headline "Nude Brit covered in poo fell from hotel balcony into café", followed by a news article describing a naked British tourist who fell through a café ceiling from his hotel balcony in Thailand.

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of a tumblr post showing three separate comments. The first post says "Learned today that my ex-husband buys his weed from a lesbian dominatrix that banned him from DJing at her sex club because he kept playing his version of 'Lean on Me' made entirely of samples of Homer saying 'd'oh'." The second comment says "AMAZING". The third comment says "Every word in that sentence is better than the last".

Nintendo Fan

The image shows a cartoon of Tom the cat sitting in a green chair and looking at a newspaper with a suspicious look. Above him, it says: "Rapper's gf listening to him sing about cheating on her with her friend."

RealBoat

r/future
2h
Join
Homie said Future new tape is mid - ended up
fucking his bitch
Discussion
Literally told him not to talk on my goat like that shit
was 8/10 MINIMUM. Asked his girl to meet up, told her
let's get some Mac Donald's, then she gave me head
ion even feel bad Lmaooo
↑ 88
○ 26
☑☑

Heroin Monkey

A child's worksheet with a drawing of two characters. The one on the left is yelling, 'You broke my toy!' Red laser beams are coming from their eyes, while 'pee' and 'fart' are labeled next to their legs. The character on the right has laser beams coming from their eyes as well and says 'Homander, F*** I want' in their speech bubble. The worksheet is titled 'Making Up' by Aiden.

MEME LORD

SEND THIS TO HER
@degenerategambler
IF YOU MISS THAT HEAD

Heroin Monkey

The image shows the text "Let's take a moment and appreciate Kelly Nelson for her underrated hard work in Breaking Bad" above a list of crew members with the line "Hair Stylist: Kelly Nelson" circled in red. Below the text is a collage of bald characters from the show 'Breaking Bad'.

Heroin Monkey

The image is a two-panel comic. The first panel shows a man advising another man to say to a woman: "You're an 8 on a scale of 10." The second panel shows the man instead saying to the woman: "Urinate on a skeleton."

Heroin Monkey

A text message conversation. The first message says, "What's up?" The second says, "Dude, you're going to kill me. I was a little drunk last night and talking to your wife and I ended up banging her car in the driveway when I pulled out. I think I hit your daughter's bike too. I'll come fix it later, but please say sorry for me to your wife." The third message says, "Not delivered". The last message says "and your daughter".

Anonymous

The image shows a split screen of a woman with long red hair on the left and shorter red hair on the right. The caption reads, "She donated 30 inches of her hair to make wigs for children with cancer." A comment at the bottom says, "Now some poor kid has to be a ginger on top of having cancer."

Heroin Monkey

A tweet with text "Worst Headline you'll read today and there's like 10 wars happening" above a tweet by @Dexerto saying "The Hawk Tuah Girl is launching her own podcast under Jake Paul's media company". Below are two side-by-side images of Jake Paul looking surprised and the Hawk Tuah Girl smiling.

Heroin Monkey

The image consists of two panels side by side. The left panel shows a woman holding a rifle with the text: "DIDN'T KILL THE MAN WHO TORTURED AND KILLED HER FATHER, BECAUSE 'REVENGE IS BAD'". The right panel shows the video game character Kirby with the text: "KILLED THE GODS BECAUSE SOMEONE STOLE HIS CAKE".

big [fire] balls

A platypus in a box with the text: "BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE. Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk, it's one of the few animals that can make its own custard. AS AN ADDED BONUS HER MATE CAN POISON THE CUSTARD WITH HIS OWN VENOM."

big [fire] balls

The image displays a table with three text fields, each describing a different state of Allison Eckhart. The first one describes her as an extradimensional being, the second as an agent, and the third as a comatose being. All three texts use complicated and formal language to describe Allison Eckhart.

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