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" I WANNA GO TO SCHOOL MOMMY!"

A green and yellow crossing sign with a figure of an adult and child walking is displayed. A news banner reads: "CRIME STUDENT STRUCK BY VEHICLE". Above this there is text: "Student hit by car while walking to Tanana Middle School". Below is the text "I WANNA GO TO SCHOOL MOMMY!".

$A multi-panel image comparing various fleshlight designs and their corresponding levels of perceived intellect. The first row shows a basic fleshlight next to an image of a simple skull. The second row shows a toy car-shaped fleshlight next to an image of a brain with glowing nodes. The third row shows a worm-shaped fleshlight next to an image of a more detailed brain. The fourth row shows a standard fleshlight next to an image of a head with its brain exposed, shining with light rays. The fifth row shows a Hulk Hogan fleshlight next to a photo of a brain with fractal patterns. The sixth row shows a stuffed-crust pizza-themed fleshlight next to an image of a man's body glowing with energy. The last row shows a pizza and pasta-themed fleshlight next to an image of a spiritual man with energy coming out of his body and hands.$

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