Worst Jokes Ever

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Heroin Monkey

The image contains text from a tweet by Alice Smith that says: "Give a man a fish, you'll feed him for a day. Elect a man to fish for you, and all of a sudden fishing becomes some mystical function that only a few elite in society can perform, at great expense to the rest of it."

Heroin Monkey

A photo of actor Keanu Reeves looking slightly impatient. The text overlay reads: "Me waiting for my grandpa to stop choking so I can tell him I put a lego piece in his oatmeal."

M3ME G0D

A red dodgeball is on a green grassy field with two blurry figures in the background.

Unimportant Intelligence

how fun

A man is skydiving. The text on the image reads: "Did you know? You can skydive without parachute but only once."

DADDY sus aka the king

godd

The image is split into two sections. The top part shows two cartoon penguins looking straight ahead with blank expressions. A translucent image of one penguin is layered on top of the other. The caption above reads: "Me zoned out staring at a fixed point:". The bottom part shows a boy holding up a wooden cross and raising one hand in a defensive gesture. His expression is one of surprise and mild fear. The caption above the boy reads: "The ghost in my room:". The captions around the boy read: "How the flip can u see me?!" and "U need God".

BellaTrix

Like if you can relate

A two panel image showing two dogs. The top panel shows a light-colored chihuahua looking directly at the viewer with a concerned expression. The text above the dog reads, "Mom... can I ask you something without you getting angry???" The bottom panel shows a black dog with glasses sitting at a table with a sewing machine in the foreground, appearing stern or annoyed.

Heroin Monkey

A cartoon drawing shows a person with a computer monitor for a head, displaying logos for Google Chrome, Facebook, and Amazon, speaking to another person. The text says "I see you recently bought a lawnmower. Can I interest you in another lawnmower?"

Heroin Monkey

The text reads, "The doctor waiting for the parents to stop crying about their dead son so he can announce the $300,000 medical bill." Below the text is a close-up of a man with a slight, almost uncomfortable, smile and a white coat.

Nintendo Fan

A woman and a man shake hands in front of a small airplane. The text on the image says: "Can a woman make you a Millionaire?" A comment below says: "Xavier: Yes! If you are a Billionaire."

DaRey1Cray

DIS IS NUT FOR KIDS

A product image of a green figure attached to a toothpaste tube and covering the opening. The text on the image reads: 'Toothpaste Cap Kids Toothpaste Attachment. Visit the Handmade Store. 4.0 stars. 15 ratings. Best Price on Amazon. -30% $8.99. List Price: $12.90. FREE Returns. A fun toothpaste cover that will make kids love brushing teeth. Produced in a 3D printer with organic PLA material that can be degraded in nature. It is placed on the cap of the toothpaste tube instead of the toothpaste cap. (Not compatible with non-standard pastes) It is not a hazardous material (toy). Do not wash in hot water or in the machine. The toothpaste tube product in the product is for promotional purposes. You can contact us for color preferences.'

✨Jassy✨

Comment this emoji 🤣 if you can relate

Spider-Man is doing a weird stretch in a cartoonish style in front of a brick wall. The image is captioned with the text: "When you wake up from a 3 hour nap and do that weird stretch thing."

Daddy dick

DAM

A close-up of a gray dog with a pink collar looking at the camera. The text above says, "When the customers randomly having a rant you can do nothing about and you just stand there listening like."

Anonymous

The image shows a wooden guillotine with labels and prices for each part from Home Depot, accompanied by the text "Something you can do with your $600 stimulus check." at the top and "DIY PROJECTS & IDEAS" at the bottom. The parts and prices include: 24in x 24in, #16 plain sheet metal for $39.98; Everbilt 1/4in x 100 ft Sisal Rope, Naural for $7.97; 1in x 6in x 8 ft for $10.11; 4in x 4in x 10 #2 for $11.12; 2in x 4in #12 Galvanized L-Angle for $2.11; and 2in x 4in x 10 #2 for $3.88.

mariotime

gramma got a gun

A woman, likely an elderly woman or grandmother, is holding a handgun. The text above says "when you're presenting in class and someone says "can you speak up i cant hear you"".

Nateツ

A picture with two people, one labeled as "Teacher" and the other as "Me", is shown. The text above them reads, "Me: 'Can I go to the bathroom?' Teacher: 'It's may' Me: 'No, it's January'".

Heroin Monkey

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of a text message conversation. The first text says, "Can you call me a taxi at 7am tomorrow?" The second text says, "Thanks dad". There is a green "Ok" bubble, and the last text, which is from "dad", says: "You're a taxi".

Unimportant Intelligence

It works, my brother has never slept better

A man is lying in bed with a pillow under his head. Text overlay: "DID YOU KNOW? If you hold your breath for a long time you can sleep forever."

Anonymous

Just something wholesome to help you recover from whatever you just saw.

The image is a six-panel cartoon depicting a couple sitting at a desk with a laptop. In the first panel, the woman is asking the man for help. The man then helps her. Then the woman asks him to come closer again. Finally, the man hugs her while she is using her laptop. The text bubbles say: "CAN YOU HELP ME WITH THIS?", "HERE... DONE!", "CAN YOU COME HERE AGAIN?" and "BUT THERE'S NOTHING WRONG."

Anonymous

Wade must be the fucking healthiest one here

The image displays "WTF SEX FACTS#" in large, bold, red letters at the top, followed by the statement "Having sex once a week can improve your immune system by 30%."

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