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Heroin Monkey
1 year ago
The image shows a person with a hand-drawn, simple face over a photo of a woman on a red carpet. The text above reads: "Hello fellow humans, I am celebrity No. 2932, I believe in everything that is safe and popular with people aged 18-35. You may now praise me on the social media platform of your choice, remember to purchase my newly manufactured album."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The image shows a comparison between modern and ancient Sith. The modern Sith are depicted as whiny and emotional, lamenting about being stuck in a machine and having their superweapon destroyed. The ancient Sith are portrayed as stoic and embracing pain, declaring "TO PAIN IS TO LIVE, AND BOY, AM I LIVING!"
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The first part shows a tweet from the National Park Service stating: "You know it's cold outside when you go outside and it's cold." Below that is a reply from heychrisjones stating "Who is running this account?" The second part shows a reply from the National Park Service that contains an image. The image shows a marmot wearing a headset and sitting at a computer in an office setting.
  • 1
  • The Radio Demon
    1 year ago

    That always annoys me, seeing people mess up your and you’re

    The image shows a four-row table with five Hazbin Hotel characters. The table contains speech bubbles with the texts "your gay", "yea", "what about my gay?", "and you're not? Loser." and "*you're" with the third row including "*finger guns*". The first row shows Angel Dust looking unimpressed and responding with "yea" to the initial statement. The second row shows Husk looking confused and asking "what about my gay?". The third row shows Charlie using finger guns. The fourth row shows Angel Dust looking offended and responding with "and you're not? Loser.". The last row shows Alastor correcting the grammar with "*you're".
  • 1
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A meme featuring a waitress in an Olive Garden restaurant, who asks: "Would you like to start out with our unlimited salad and breadsticks this evening?" Ben Shapiro appears to the right with the text: "that is literally impossible."
  • 1
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The image is a split panel featuring two figures. On the left is a depiction of Jesus with a halo, and the text “Stop asking for automatic rifles and goth girls.” On the right is a Wojak character looking upset and the text “please J-man”.
  • 2
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The meme shows three different people. The first panel shows J.K. Rowling, with the text "Has a good idea and writes a book". The second panel shows George R.R. Martin, with the text "Has a good idea and writes a book". The third panel shows J.R.R. Tolkien, with the text "Creates a language, feels like it needs a story and writes a book".
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A quiz titled "Quiz - Do I Have Autism" asking the user to "Take this 2 minute quiz and find out if you have the most common signs." above an arrow pointing right.
  • 1
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    63 0060
Romeo & Juliet
is not a love story.
It's a 3-day
relationship between
a 13yr old and a
17yr old that caused
6 deaths.
Sincerely,
Everyone Who
Actually Read It
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The image shows a text list titled 'Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator'. The list provides humorous and absurd actions to perform inside an elevator.
  • 1
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A picture of Stevie Wonder with the text "Hey, I'm Stevie Wonder, and you're watching Disney channel." There is a blue, scribbled image to the left.
  • 0
  • Wade XL
    1 year ago
    The image is a collage. The top part shows a news headline about an armed Pizza Hut employee who shot and killed a robber. Below is an image of a person with a pizza box on their head, a blood-splattered apron, and holding a pizza peel. The text says "Nobody out pizzas the hut".
  • 3
  • Wade XL
    1 year ago
    The image shows a screenshot with text at the top and a man with a shocked expression at the bottom. The text reads: "technically you can call a black guy the n word and I came up with this theory and it's called NROENB it's stands for NO Rasicts Or Equality Not Both. So my theory is that if black ppl call each other the n word then because they want Equality it means that Whites can call Blacks the n word Whites can call Whites the n word Blacks can call Whites the n word Blacks can call Blacks the n word. And Asians are somewhere in the middle."
  • 7
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The image is a comment from user ElderMaxson69, saying, "Maybe instead of riding a dick, you would prefer riding in a set of T-60b Power Armor? Join the Brotherhood of Steel today and take back the commonwealth. Ad Victoriam!"
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A list of ten things to do in an elevator. The text reads: Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator. 1. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 2. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" 3. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" 4. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking. 5. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on". 6. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly. 7. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 8. Dress up as the devil and then ask other people as they get in, "Going down?" 9. Drag a desk into the elevator. Ask "Do you have an appointment?" 10. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."
  • 1
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A photo of Stevie Wonder with the text, "Hey, I'm Stevie Wonder, and you're watching Disney Channel.", on top.  A scribbled, blue design is to the left.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A two-panel image. The left panel says "Don't say you love the anime" above a Tumblr logo. The right panel says "If you haven't read the manga" above a cover of "The Autism Acceptance Book: Being a Friend to Someone with Autism" by Ellen Sabin, showing a drawing of five people of different ethnicities holding hands.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A drawing of the evolution of man showing a human walking away with text: "When you walk in a party and see a bunch of dudes talking about bitcoin", followed by "LATER HOMO" and "H. sapiens (modern hum".
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The image shows a screenshot from Pornhub with a 'Flag This Video' dialog box open. The options are listed as 'Inappropriate content', 'Underage', 'Video does not play', 'Spam or misleading', and 'Other'. The 'Other' option is selected and the text box for the reason says 'Nudity and Sexual content'. Underneath this, there are three wolves, with two looking nonchalant labeled as "Pornhub employees", and one looking excited, labeled "Me".
  • 0
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