Mai jokes

This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom.

So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"

The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."

So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."

When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"

The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."

I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he rest in peace.

A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant.

After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!”

She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”

To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”

How many times do you tickle an octopus to get it to laugh?

Ten-tickles!

My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are always up.

Can February march? -- No, but April may.

What's the number one pick up line at a gay bar?

"May I push your stool in?"