My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
Why did the man miss the funeral? He wasn’t a mourning person.
It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.
Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings.
Anonymous
rg
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Rag
Anonymous
Meanie
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It's been on my mind for a while so ima get it off it
Anonymous
tf dose this mean
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Got
Anonymous
ohhhhhhhh
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I meant got but fucking auto correct
Anonymous
wht has
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Would it bother you if I were to call you chubby? HYPOTHETICAL QUESTION
Anonymous
prolly a lil then i woulndt gaf
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Okay
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Hamhurger Germany
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Hamburg
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Germany
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I fucked up
Anonymous
huh
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It's a place in Germany
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Hamburg
Anonymous
..
Anonymous
im tired ):
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I js saw a mf on tiktok fry ramen
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Am I supposed to not boil it
Anonymous
...fry...?
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Put it in a pam
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Pan
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And fried it
Anonymous
gross
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Ik
Anonymous
i hate fried things
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You are very picky
Anonymous
no
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You said yesterday when we were talking you were picky
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Walking
Anonymous
i did?
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Yeah
Anonymous
oh
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I wanna cuddle again
Anonymous
same
Anonymous
but i do not wanna be that cold again
Anonymous
i wasnt cold outside but it hit me inside
Anonymous
and it hit hard
fleperd
Mt head in between your things :0
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Facing up
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Get your mind out of the gutter >:(
Anonymous
dude
Anonymous
no
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Why D:
Anonymous
cause
Anonymous
i like the gutter
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I still want my head crushed
Anonymous
i dont understand why
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Its a guy thing
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We dunno why
Anonymous
oh?
Anonymous
its not lik i have leg strengtth
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Idc
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I want it
Anonymous
fine
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Hehe
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When and how?
Anonymous
idk :/
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It's almost nnn
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:(
Anonymous
whats nnn?
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No Nut November
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I can't stroke it for the month of November
fleperd
Brb
Anonymous
Wtf-
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Stfu
Anonymous
oh
Anonymous
ok
fleperd
I'm gonna be back
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In
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Idk
Anonymous
ok..
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I'm sorry
Anonymous
for?
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I feel like you're sad
Anonymous
nah
Anonymous
just idk what to say
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You're mad cuz you can't be helping me
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So am I :(
Anonymous
im def not mad-
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I'm more sad
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You're sad you can't help me
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L
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So am i
Anonymous
No im not -.-
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You wanna give me a handjob
Anonymous
Not really
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Zamn
Anonymous
Im scared one day when you tell me you love me it wont be true
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Omfg
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Don't
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I won't ever lose feelings <3
Anonymous
Good
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I love you <3
Anonymous
I love you to
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33333333
Anonymous
..?
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<
Anonymous
oh
Anonymous
im tired
Anonymous
):
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Augh
Anonymous
?
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Snore
Anonymous
huh?
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Sleep
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Degloved pp
Anonymous
Im not sleeping for
Anonymous
3 nigh"
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Whyyy
Anonymous
I dont deserve it
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Whyyy
Anonymous
cause i dont
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I wanna sleep on your thigh
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Mb
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Wrong time
Anonymous
ehh
Anonymous
i still js wont sleep
Anonymous
u hea?
Anonymous
i need to talk to
Anonymous
like i needa be honest w/ u
fleperd
Hn
Anonymous
wai'
Anonymous
js nvm
Anonymous
u should prolly sleep its gettin late
fleperd
Mmm-mmm
Anonymous
...
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No shlep
Anonymous
nonono\
Anonymous
u neee sleep
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Nuh uu
Anonymous
im losr
Anonymous
t
Anonymous
i need to say smthin but i cant
fleperd
Me nun shelo
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Like actually cant?
Anonymous
i can but cant
Anonymous
no u sleep
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Nop
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Not til you yell me
Anonymous
tell u what?
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This
Anonymous
youll pass out soon enough
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Noooop
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I'll eat candy
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I'll bust another nut
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I'll drink water
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I'll walk around
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😈
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I'm passing out 😴
Anonymous
told u
Anonymous
Js give in
Anonymous
Sleep
fleperd
Nope
Anonymous
Yes.
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I'm eating a snickers
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I'll never go tah bed 😈
Anonymous
NO NOT SNICKERS
Anonymous
DONT
Anonymous
IF U EAT THEM
Anonymous
DOJT TELL ME
fleperd
Or what
Anonymous
ill
Anonymous
kill u
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The way I want :3
Anonymous
No.
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You dunno the way I wanna go out
Anonymous
Well
Anonymous
It wont be that way
fleperd
Well
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Too late
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I'm open
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Ing
Anonymous
NO
Anonymous
ITS MY OLD GUNNIE PIGS NAME
Anonymous
AND
Anonymous
YOU CANT
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The gummy bears...
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😈
Anonymous
ok
Anonymous
thats ok
fleperd
Brand name too
fleperd
The albanese
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Also
Anonymous
hm?
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I gotta another present for you
Anonymous
what is it>?
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Totaro plushie
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Plushy ball
Anonymous
huh?
Anonymous
idk what that isq \\
Anonymous
Also i got a question
fleperd
This fatass
Anonymous
oh
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I got an answer
Anonymous
Dont be mean
Anonymous
thats mean
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Hehe
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To bad love
Anonymous
)):
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I'm sorry
Anonymous
But uhm i got question
Anonymous
Its ok
Anonymous
Do u hold midnight?
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Tes
Anonymous
Evernight?
fleperd
Mhmm
Anonymous
Good. Its what hes used to =D He needs it every night to sleep
fleperd
It's hard cause he's small but I make it work
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I'm debating of I should give you totaro
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Cause of like sleeping with him too
Anonymous
U dont gotta
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Yes I do
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It's my thing
Anonymous
0-0
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Ima good boy and a good boyfriend
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I HAVE to
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IF I don't I DIE
Anonymous
. . .
Anonymous
Huh?!
fleperd
I wanna be a good boyfriend
Anonymous
You are.
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Better
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I wanna be a better boyfrienf
Anonymous
ur already more than ive ever wanted
fleperd
And what I'm doing is what's keeping my that way
Anonymous
I love u
Anonymous
now
Anonymous
Sleeo
Anonymous
Sleep*
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I love you too
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Nope
Anonymous
Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy\
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I wanna speak to you smore
fleperd
I'm eager to speak to the love of my life
fleperd
Random question
Anonymous
hm?
fleperd
Do you know any girl who had a crush on me b4
fleperd
Not including you
Anonymous
No cause i didnt know anyone who even knew u sept seth but I didn't know he ven knew u
fleperd
Seth kohl or Seth serena
Anonymous
Kohl
Anonymous
I dont call serena seth
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Anymore?
Anonymous
I never did
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Istg to have b4
Anonymous
huh?
fleperd
U
Anonymous
huh?
fleperd
I swear you have called serena Seth before
Anonymous
No.
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You caught me
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I am shleepy
Anonymous
Sleep.
Anonymous
Go. To. Sleep.
fleperd
But I wanna talk to u
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Don't do me like that
Anonymous
ill do u thoug
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Gn babe
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I love u
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<333
Anonymous
awh )):
Anonymous
I love u to
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Jokes on you
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You said this
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So
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I gtta
Anonymous
No
Anonymous
i said
Anonymous
U*
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You said you'll fuck me
fleperd
In my terminology
Anonymous
U said u wont sleep
fleperd
ThT means sex for me
Anonymous
Well yes
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Tell me what you're gonna be honest with me aby
Anonymous
make mel],
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Then I won slep
Anonymous
for how long]
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Until you suck me off
Anonymous
no
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Until you break up with me
Anonymous
ok so never
Anonymous
/
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Checkmate Charlie
Anonymous
ima say what my freind told me
Anonymous
Idcif you dont sleep cause your body will make you after long enough
fleperd
I'll neglect my body
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I'll spereate head from body
Anonymous
do you want me dead?
fleperd
No
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Why would I want you dead?
Anonymous
idk
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No idk
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Give me a reason
Anonymous
idk..
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Damn.
Anonymous
im sorry
fleperd
Your okay
Anonymous
Pleasedont not for me
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I won't hun
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I love you and want you to rest knowing I'm not harming myself
Anonymous
its not important
Anonymous
I love you to ans im not sleeping
fleperd
Damn
Anonymous
hm..?
fleperd
I'm passing out
fleperd
No words can express or describe my undying love for u <333
fleperd
Good night
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Xoxi
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Xoxo
Anonymous
no']
Anonymous
no...
Anonymous
...
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I'm sorry
Anonymous
no..
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What's wrong
Anonymous
nononono
fleperd
tell me what wrong please
Anonymous
im fucking stupid
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You worried me
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What's wrong
Anonymous
idk..
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What did you read
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What fucking happened
Anonymous
i js feel like a horrivle perosn\
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Why
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Babe you started freaking out
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You have me worried
Anonymous
no i didnt..
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You didn't
Anonymous
dont go..
Anonymous
dont leave me..
fleperd
I won't leave you okay
fleperd
I plan to spend my life with you
fleperd
I'll go to bed
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I love you
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Good night
Anonymous
what if theey take me..
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They?
Anonymous
mhm..
fleperd
Who is they?
Anonymous
its not them
Anonymous
but there here
fleperd
WHO'S THEY
Anonymous
its not safe here
fleperd
stop acting dumb
fleperd
It's cute but tell me who they are
Anonymous
its her.
fleperd
WHO'S HER?
Anonymous
...
Anonymous
idk her name
fleperd
Babe
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O wanna fucking sleep
Anonymous
idec anymore.
Anonymous
go ig.
fleperd
I'm sorry
Anonymous
cool.
fleperd
I feel like you don't love me anymore after I said that
Anonymous
no one loses feelings that fast.
fleperd
I feel like you just did
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I fucking hate myself
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I'm sorry
Anonymous
dont.
Anonymous
i didnt
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Your mad at me
fleperd
I can't not hate myself
Anonymous
well
Anonymous
i dont hate you so dont hate ursel
fleperd
Please forgive ne
Anonymous
for>?
fleperd
This
Anonymous
ur sorry you wanna sleep?
fleperd
Read it from there to here
Anonymous
mhm
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Please forgive me
Anonymous
dude i js wanna talk to u abt smthin but smthings nit letting me cause it feels stupid\
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I'm tired love
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I would want to usually but I'm tiref
Anonymous
well\\
Anonymous
not js a random thing\
fleperd
Tell me
Anonymous
go to bed its almost 1\
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Idc how crazy it is
Anonymous
i dont want you to sleep through ur alarm again.
fleperd
Okay
fleperd
Goodnight
Anonymous
night;
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I love you <333
Anonymous
love u to