Today I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door on my face. My parents are the worst.
Mary: If you born pikin (Child) inside shop wetin you go call that pikin(child) Mike: The pikin (child) go bear Bishop
Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said,’ Hey man, boing, are you sentient too?’ The other one said, “I’m sapient, you are sentient!!” BOINGZINGA!!!?
SOOOO my sister said her first bad word yesterday. Shit. My mum was like what did you just say child??? Sister: I said the cat shits inside like the dog shi- uh oh...... Now I've avoided this stuff by making my own word: Sugarplum. Sugarplum = shit...
My sister made some pie and it tasted horribly... so I said this.... This pie is very sugarplum-y. She said what do you mean by that? I said It tastes like sugarplums...
I bet ur hairline gose inside ur private part and ur girlfriend can’t even touch it
are you the twin towers?
Because I want to crash inside of you.
What's hard and hairy on the outside and soft and wet on the inside. Coconut, what were you thinking of?
what goes inside and comes out wet
What does McDonald's and Priests have in common?
They put their meat inside 10 year olds
A Chinese guy said to his friend : I saw you fucking your donkey, yesterday.
His friend : No , that's impossible , it's too hot inside.
Why do cheetahs have spots out side of there body’s
Because they don’t have they in the inside
I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside. Thankfully I don’t have to call and tell their parents.
What did the female rapist say at her hearing? Well that boys dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say 'my body my choice'
Suicide won't work, I'm already dead inside
How do you know if your sisters on her period?
Your dads dick tastes funny.
What’s worse than fingering your sister?
Finding your dads wedding ring inside her.
How many dicks can fit inside of a hooker? I don't know ask your wife
Is that a mirror in your pants cause I can see myself inside them
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep.
Why isn’t the Moon Emo anymore?
Turns out it was just a phase.
How many emos like anagrams?
Some.
What do you call those who remain My Chemical Romance fans?
Emold.
What is the connection between Emos and Darth Vader?
They both dress in all black and none of them has a father.
What do you call flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Who cares, let them cry in the dark.
Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?
It was the Happy Meal.
Anthony went into the bakery and ordered Emo Cake.
“Emo cake?” says the baker. ” What exactly is it?”
Anthony says, “It’s the cake that cuts itself.”
How do you pull an emo from a tree?
Cut the rope.
What’s the similarity between emos and unsalted popcorn?
They’re both white and flavourless.
What do emo birds call their mouths?
Bleaks.
What do you call an obese emo teen?
An edgelard.
Recommended: Fat Jokes
What do you call a gang of emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
How are cats and emos different from one another?
The cat still has 8 other lives.
Why does emo get tattoos of fruits on their arms?
They are playing Fruit Ninja.
What will you call Sonic if he’s an emo?
Sonic the Edgy hog.
Why would the emo swallow a clock?
So he could wake up inside.
Why are Emos still around?
Because the suffering never ends.
What is the best way to get an emo off your balcony?
You encourage them.
What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?
A toaster.
What is the favourite game of an emo?
Hangman.
Why do people wish their lawn grass was emo?
So it could cut itself.
A group of friends started an emo salsa band.
They call themselves HisPanic at the Disco.
What is the difference between pizza and emo pizza?
Emo pizza kind of cuts itself.
Here’s one for the aussies what’s the difference between an echidna and a police car... all the pricks are on the inside
Why laws forbids hoes from owning stocks in condom makers?
Answer: insider trading
