Implication jokes

3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!

Just because she can't crawl doesn't mean she can't eat my balls.

I would never slap a woman, then I’d be destroying property.

Riddler: Riddle me this, are you scared of the big black?

Person: Big black what?

Riddler: ...

Person: I'm scared of what you mean because you won't tell me what you mean.

So I told the officer, "I can't even walk when I'm sober."

Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."

Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."

Kid 1: "As if."

Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."

Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."

Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

"Candice balls fit up your nose."

"So I asked a genie if he could grant me this wish. I wished to be like Michael Jackson. The next day, I was in a playground full of little kids."

Billy: *spits out food*

Mom: BILLY! We swallow what we have in our mouths.

Dad: *looks at mom*

Mom: Shut up.

If you get it, you get it.

I like my women like I like my wine: 12 years in a basement.

How do u know Stephen Hawking is having a seizure?

He spills coffee on his iPad.