Herring Jokes

Yo mama is so stupid she shoved two double A batteries up her butt and said, “ i’ve got the power “

At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.” Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”

I’m in school lol.

Guy starts chatting to pretty woman at a party Seeing that she didn't back off he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. That's a nice name," he said warming up the conversation,

"Who named you, your mother?"

"No, I named myself, she answered.

"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"

"Because I like cars, and I like men," she said looking directly into his eyes. "So what's your name?" she asked.

‘BJ Titsngolf’

My wife accused me of being a cross dresser so i packed up her clothes and left

So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it jokes on her she doesn't have any fingers.

My wife thinks i'm immature, so I told her to get out of my fort.

My wife left me for an Indian guy. -- I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.

How did the black woman name her 4 babies? Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, and Tyrone How did she differentiate them? She called them by their last names

Your mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom company

When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it. “They see me rollin’, they hating”

I banged a German chick one time. I tried anal and asked her to rate the experience. She kept yelling "9! 9! 9!"

Why did the astronaut return to Earth?

She went on her launch break! 🚀🥪😋

Yo mama so fat that when i banged her in the jacuzzi there was a level 8 tsunami

How did the Hillbilly mother find out her daughter entered puberty? Her sons dick tasted funny.

I told someone some jokes y'know fruit ninja, barcode legs, french puppet thigh wrings. And she was like saying thats not cool and stuff. So she reported me and it was like. The counselor: So i've heard you've been making sh jokes? Me: You say it like it's a bad thing Her: It is Me: chill bro it aint that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)