Woman: What’s a good comeback for my sexist husband when he tells me to go make him a sandwich?
Husband: I know! How about you COMEBACK with a goddamn sandwich?
Once there were twins, Mark and Michael. Mark was the owner of an old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible." Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted.
So my bus goodness
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense. Baby, we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.
Why are cats good at video games?
Because they have nine lives!
Mother: Jack, I have good news and some bad news, which would you like to hear first?
Jack: Bad News first.
Mother: I'm dying!
Jack: Mother, I said bad news first.
Mother: *cries*
Jack was never seen again.
Don't be sad, because that's das backwards and das not good.
What’s the difference between 1000 used tiers and 1000 used condoms?
Ones a good year and ones a great year
KFC doesn’t use toilet paper because it is finger lickin good
Teacher: Great! You’re studying in break time!
Student: Thank you. I heard that it is good to study before sleep.
🎨🧑🏻🦰 day was that good fun day at home 🏠 I had to the earth and I love it when you get a home and walk walk home from school and walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home 🏠 was your birthday 🎁 I did
Hi 👋 I love 💕 you love 💕 a good time of home 🏡
Hi 👋 I love 💕 you love 💕 a good time of my day
Why are frogs good at basketball?
Because they always make jump shots.
What is a good night sleep and I
Knob Klondike, I want Ellen. Poobiess, please. I want big juicy pobs in me right now. Ellen girl, give milk boob to me with good Pochyy, babie.
I did have a good
I did a good walk and I did a good job of
I did a good job of being home from school.
What is a good night sleep and what do I have dinner 🍴 today is what
