Dutch jokes

It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds.

An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf, and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.

What brand of paint did Michael Jackson use to paint Neverland Ranch?

Dutch Boy.

Which legendary Dutch wanderer slept for twenty years, except when he got up to pee?

Rip Van Tinkle.

My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.

Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9!

That's the best I've done so far.

Did you hear about the German girl being raped by 10 men? She shouted, "nein, nein," so one of them left.

Little Johnny and little Sally walked in on Mommy and Daddy going at it in the bedroom doggy style. They innocently ask, "Mommy, Daddy what are you doing?"

Mommy says, "Oh, Daddy is just parking his car in Mommy's garage, now go and play."

A few minutes later they hear a blood curdling squeal and run to see what was the matter.

Little Johnny is running in circles squealing and little Sally says, "Well little Johnny was trying to park his car in my garage and he couldn't get the back wheels in so I took the scissors and cut them off."

Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly, the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.

The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday. You know, Dad has a big belly, and that's why Mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." The little boy says, "But Mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and she blows his belly up again!"

My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex on a scale of 1-10.

Last night we tried anal, and she kept shouting “9!”

That's the best I've done so far.