Dutch jokes

It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds.

An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf, and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.

What brand of paint did Michael Jackson use to paint Neverland Ranch?

Dutch Boy.

Which legendary Dutch wanderer slept for twenty years, except when he got up to pee?

Rip Van Tinkle.

My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.

Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9!

That's the best I've done so far.

Did you hear about the German girl being raped by 10 men? She shouted, "nein, nein," so one of them left.

Little Johnny was playing with his train and said, "All you motherf*ckers who want to get off, get off, and all you motherf*ckers who want to get on, get on." His mother hears him and asks, "Is that you cussing?" The mother said, "Go to your room for 1 hour." Little Johnny goes to his room, then comes back one hour later and said, "All you motherf*ckers who wanna get off, get off, and all you motherf*ckers who wanna get on, get on, and if you wanna know about the 1 hour delay, go ask the b*tch in the kitchen."

Little Johnny and little Sally walked in on Mommy and Daddy going at it in the bedroom doggy style. They innocently ask, "Mommy, Daddy what are you doing?"

Mommy says, "Oh, Daddy is just parking his car in Mommy's garage, now go and play."

A few minutes later they hear a blood curdling squeal and run to see what was the matter.

Little Johnny is running in circles squealing and little Sally says, "Well little Johnny was trying to park his car in my garage and he couldn't get the back wheels in so I took the scissors and cut them off."

My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex on a scale of 1-10.

Last night we tried anal, and she kept shouting “9!”

That's the best I've done so far.