DoS jokes
Three guys are in the woods, a really smart guy, an average guy, and a really dumb guy. They're bored, so the smart guy decides to go hunting. A little while later he comes back with a deer. The average guy asks, "How did you do that?" The really smart guy says, "I see deer tracks, I follow deer tracks, I see deer, I shoot deer." The average guy says, "I think I understand," and leaves. A little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb guy goes *gasp*, "How did you do that!?" And the average looks at him funny and says, "Well, I see raccoon tracks, I follow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon, I shoot raccoon." The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says, "Oooohh, ok, I think I can do that..." and leaves.
Hours pass, and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mangled. They run to help him. Finally, one of the guys asks him what happened. This is what he said: "I see train tracks, I follow train tracks, I see train, I shoot train. But train keep coming."
Kid: Dad, where do you work?
Dad: I.C.U.P.
Kid: HAHAHAH!!!! See you pee.
How do you get a cow to eat?
Give it mooshrooms!
How do you blow up an Indian? Press the red dot in the middle of their forehead!
🤣😂😆😁
He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?
She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?
What do you call a Mexican rooster?
Un gallo pelón.
How do you fit 4 gay dudes on a stool?
Flip it upside down.
Here's some of my weird jokes:
What are rhinos? They're unicorns that let themselves go.
Joke # 2: Why do triangles try every angle of its house? Because it's in its name.
Joke # 3: Wanna hear a cheesy joke? Sorry, the mouse got to the cheese first.
What do you call an acid with a bad attitude?
A-Mean-O-Acid.
Why do cows do it for the mooooooooooooooooooo?
What do a blonde and a doorknob have in common?
Everyone gets a turn ;)
One man said, "Do you need 20 bucks?"
The other said, "Do you have that many?"
How do you call a cow’s butt? A dairy-air.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Make him clap until his parents come back.
"Hey man, what’s your name? Oh, my name is... Do your balls hang low? Can you swing it to and fro? Can you tie it in a knot? Can you tie it in a bow?"
What do the initials NOW stand for?
(A.) National Organization For Women
(B.) National Organization of Whores
(C.) All the above
Answer:
Since the initials NOW can stand for anything, the correct answer is all the above.
What do gay people and mice have in common?
They both hate pussy cats!
A blonde walks into the doctor's office. She tells the doctor, "My boyfriend has dandruff."
The doctor tells her to use Head and Shoulders. She leaves. About an hour later, the doctor's phone rings. He answers, it's the blonde. The doctor asks how he can help her. "Well doctor, I understand head, but how do you 'hove' shoulders?"
Q: Why do orphans like boomerangs?
A: They come back, unlike their parents.
Person one: Why did the boy go home?
Person two: Why?
Person one: Because he had PHOAM work to do!