DoS jokes

What do you call a stoned Mexican?

Baked bean.

How do you know you are blessed by God?

You don’t laugh at, make light of, or enjoy the evils and suffering people are inflicting on themselves and upon each other.

Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?

Because dad never came back with the milk.

Me: Do you like smash?

Friend: Smash Rolls?

Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS!

Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)

What did the magician do as a trick in his show?

Make your doubts about magic... DISAPPEAR!

What do you call a bored robot?

A “sigh”-borg.

Why did they put the Petronas towers? Eh, you do you.

Why do orphans never use other people's Wi-Fi?

So they can be connected.

What did the guy tired of hearing people joke about rape do?

He killed everyone on this f#cking website.

Whenever you're mad, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What do the movies The 6th Sense and Titanic have in common?

Icy dead people.

How do you help a starving cannibal?

You give him a hand!

What do you call the American healthcare plan for poor people?

Death.

Why do poor people eat insects?

Because they're locust!

Roses are red, violets are blue, I only do anal, I thought you knew.

What do EMO kids use as birth control? Their Personalities.

If I'm holding a cricket ball in each hand, what do I have?

A really fucking huge cricket.

*at school*

Nobody: Do you want nuts?

Me: Wait, you have some?

Nobody: Yeah, they're my own.

Me: :0

Why do we tell actors to break a leg?

Because every show has a cast. Get it, LOL?

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Anything you want; it won't chase you.