DoS jokes
Do you know who Dee is?
Dees nuts!
What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?
"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome on the beach?
A baked potato.
What do you call Snoop Dogg’s giant turd?
Poop Logg.
I will always remember my grandma's last words: "What are you doing with that pillow?"
Why do people love dating orphans?
Because they're always home alone.
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Sum Ting Wong.
Why do orphans hate health ed at school?
Their parents can't opt them out of it.
Q: What kind of club do roosters go to? A: The Chicken Strip.
I made that one up.
What do an Apple company and an orphanage have that are different?
Apples actually get picked... Unlike little Timmy here... He's been here for 16 years.
Did you guys know that Chancellor Palpatine is suing Nike?
Apparently, the company stole his slogan: Just "Do It."
How do you cut your grass without a lawn mower?
You dye it blue and it will cut itself.
Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.
How do you cut your grass without a lawnmower?
You dye it blue and it will cut itself.
Why was the soldier reading the Geneva convention?
To-do list.
What do you call an emo that crossed a road? Roadkill.
Why do people keep on making jokes about the twin towers?
Because they go down so well.
What do orphans like about tattoos? They stick around.
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
Because they always return.
SOOOO my sister said her first bad word yesterday. "Shit." My mum was like, "What did you just say, child?"
Sister: "I said the cat shits inside like the dog shi- uh oh......"
Now I've avoided this stuff by making my own word: Sugarplum. Sugarplum = shit...
My sister made some pie, and it tasted horribly... so I said this.... "This pie is very sugarplum-y." She said, "What do you mean by that?" I said, "It tastes like sugarplums..."