They say I’ll mess up my insides, but I don’t have any.
What's the difference between a baby and a salad?
Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.
Kid: but mom I don’t want to see grandma Mom: shut up and keep digging
A man goes for his annual checkup. Afterwords he's sitting the the doctor's office and the doctor comes in with the results of his tests. The doctor says, "I have some bad news; you have cancer and Alzheimer's." The man replies, "well, at least I don't have cancer."
I don't like the word gun
Whenever I say it people always get triggered
Roses are red, don’t touch the toys, these are what the priests use to lure in the boys.
I don't always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
“Don’t be dumb,make sure she’s numb” - bill cosby
A boy walks in on his mother riding his father. "What are you doing?" the boy asks his mother. "I'm jumping on daddy to make him thin," said the mother. "Don't bother," said the boy, "when you go shopping, the lady next door comes and blows him up again."
What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? You don't get something in return if you give money to a church.
what do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it. It ain't coming.
Why do the French eat snails? -- They don't like fast food.
What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don't care if she has one.
I don't like it when people make 9/11 jokes. My dad was in it. He was the best damn pilot in saudi arabia
Child: *drinking milk*
Farmer: hey, what are you doing?
Child: oh I just milked one of your cows
Farmer: We don't have any cows, we only have bulls
Child: *realizes*
Orphan: "I want to kill my parents."
People: "I don't think you have the facilities for that, big man."
A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?"
The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
"Yeah, that's the one!"
Someone glued my deck of cards together. I don't know how to deal with it.
why don't emos live alone?they like to hang with their freinds.
Q: Why did the Orphan get an IPhone X for their birthday?
A: Cause it don’t have a home button
