Do jokes
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.
Why do ballerinas wear tutus?
The one-ones are too small and the three-threes are too big.
What do you call snowmen having sex?
A snowjob.
What do you call a retarded fruit?
Mentally in-pear-ed.
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead.
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.
So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.
[Chorus:] Hey, now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid. And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.
It's a cool place and they say it gets colder. You're bundled up now wait 'til you get older. But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture.
The ice we skate is getting pretty thin. The water's getting warm so you might as well swim. My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored.
[Chorus 2x]
Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas. I need to get myself away from this place. I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change.
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.
So much to do, so much to see. So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.
[Chorus]
And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.
At a date:
He: "I work with animals every day."
Me: "Oh, how sweet! What do you do?"
He: "I'm a butcher."
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who dresses like a merman? Posiedown.
What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk.
If you turn Down syndrome upside down, do they have Up syndrome now?
What do you call an Autistic kid?
A work of Daniel.
What do you call a cow jumping over barbed wire? Utter destruction.
What do you call a bitch? A dumbass, hahahahaha.
What do you do after you rape a deaf girl?
Cut off her fingers so she can't tell anyone.
How do you get 100 Pikachus on a bus?
- Pokémon
Q: How do you make a door cry?
A: Twist its knob.
Q: How do you make a pool table laugh?
A: Tickle its balls.
What do you call a squirrel that flies? A flying squirrel.
What do you call a man in the ground? A dead guy.
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
What do you call dogs dressed as dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark!