Do jokes
What do you call a man with no legs?
Neil (kneel)
What do you call a squirrel with wings? A flying squirrel, it's pretty self-explanatory.
What do you call a fat Chinese man?
A double chinkey.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Hit your wife harder.
Once there were these two fruitcakes driving in their Pink Porsche. "Oh, this handles so well!" they exclaimed.
Then this Mack truck came around the corner at their stop sign and rear-ended them. The passenger said to his partner, "You tell that man he's gonna pay every single cent 'cause we're going to sue him!"
So the flamer gets out and swishes to tell the trucker to do that very thing. The trucker was a tough who said, "What do you want, wimp?" The gay said, "You just hit our new Pink Porsche, and we're gonna make you pay every single cent 'cause we're gonna sue you!"
The trucker said, "Oh yeah? Blow me!" The gay driver went "Ohhh!" and ran back. The gay partner asked him, "What did he say?" His fruitcake driver said, "Ohhh! It's wonderful, he wants to settle out of court!"
The only thing I do straight is vodka.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt-quack.
What do you call an Italian with an anesthetic?
Ruberto
How do you fit three gay guys on a bar stool?
Flip it upside down.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on Mars? Mars Rover.
What car do elves drive?
Toy-yodas.
Why do disabled people get picked on so much?
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?
IHOP
What do you call the day before Christmas Eve? Christmas Adam.
What do you call it when a watch has too many belts?
A waist of your time.
What did Stevie Wonder's mom do to punish him as a child?
She rearranged all the furniture.
What do you call an Asian? A-chan.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker Face.
Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.
What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?
A chicken tender.