Do jokes
What do you call an owl that does magic?
Hooodini.
Where do you find a turtle with no legs?
Right where you left it.
Three gay guys walk into a bar.
There is only one stool left, what do they do?
They flip the stool over.
What do you call a skeleton with no bones? A boneless boy.
What do you call a gay cactus?
A "prick."
What do stomata use to fill their pools?
Chlor-ine.
Why do emos cut themselves?
To play noughts and crosses.
A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.” The guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly, “Paint...my....house.”
How do they execute paraplegics?
With the electric wheelchair.
What do you call a clock on a belt?
A waist of time.
You travel to the past into the era where Julius Caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?"
You reply with: "Surrounded by friends."
In Antarctica, there are ice dicks for ladies to hop onto.
Little do they know I've been waiting for this moment.
Check out my YouTube Channel! (Gamer Zacoo01).
What do you say to Stephen Hawking when he dies?
"Rust in pieces!"
What do you call a girl that likes reading? Page.
What do a convention of nerds and Kurt Cobain's garage have in common?
There's brains all over the place.
What do you call a Black person flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist!
What do you call it when Portericans surround your house?
A spicket fence!
Head of Company: "We need to stop testing our products on animals."
Consultant: "Why? The shampoo companies do it."
Head of Company: "Yeah, but we make dildos."
How do you get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
What do you call a bus full of white people?
A TWINKiE!!!