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We love Russia, we do.

We love Russia, we do.

We love Russia, we do.

Oh, Russia, we love you! 🇷🇺

Why do orphans commit crimes?

It’s the only time they’re ever wanted.

Johnny is on his way to school when he comes across a frog. With a sudden inspirational thought, he picks the frog up, shoves a firecracker up the frog's arse, lights the cracker, and blows the frog to smithereens.

Now at school, the teacher asks the class: "Has anybody got anything for show and tell this morning?"

Johnny waves his arm in the air and is virtually screaming "Me mis me mis me mis".

"Ok Johnny, what do you have to share with the class today?"

Little Johnny then says, "Well on my way to school today I shoved a cracker up a frog's arse." The teacher interrupts and says, "It's not arse Johnny, It's rectum."

Johnny then says, "Fucking oath it wrecked 'im."

A girl's pussy is a muff, and when we have something against our mouths, they say our voice is muffled, so do I think the origin of the word "muffled" is talking while eating muff?

If you play the movie "Jaws" in reverse, it's a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.

What do you call a lanky yellow man with abnormally large ears? Zac! Hahahahahahahahahahah

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn’t matter what you call it; it won’t come to you.

What do you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.

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    • Why didn’t the orphan play baseball?

    Because I took the bat and swung it at their kneecaps, and now they can’t run. What are they going to do, tell their parents?