Overeating Community

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Hmm I guess Ashton really ducked himself over this time I guess I don’t know what I expected

Ways I almost died (in order)

-Almost got attacked by large snake -Almost shot by gun in my head (I believe an event like that would make me more open minded) -Caught GOKART on fire and flipped it over while I was in it -Suicide attempt #1 -#2 -#3 -#4 -#5

You're so fat that when you got on the scales they said "I need your weight not your phone number" ​ ​ ​ You're so fat that an oragami crane has less folds than you. ​ ​ ​ You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat people shout out "taxi" ​ ​ ​ You're so fat, the photo I took of you last christmas is still printing.

You're so fat that when you want to iron your pants, you have to go out to your driveway. ​ … Read more

just so you guys know im Hamilton I've taken over Gods account, I still have my other account I just wont be on that account ill be on this one more

GENESIS 11 The Tower of Babel 1Now the whole world had one language and a common speech. 2As people moved eastward, they found a plain in Shinar and settled there. 3They said to each other, “Come, let’s make bricks and bake them thoroughly.” They used brick instead of stone, and tar for mortar. 4Then they said, “Come, let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name … Read more

I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what you’re thinking, this is some funny joke, but no. Stuart Little is a piece of shit. fucking damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he’s supposed to be a hero? And I can’t even tell you how many damn times I’ve seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realize Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid tiny fucking convertible. He took my wife and the kids and my house and my job. I swear to fucking god.

GENESIS 10 The Table of Nations 1This is the account of Shem, Ham and Japheth, Noah’s sons, who themselves had sons after the flood. The Japhethites 2The sons of Japheth: Gomer, Magog, Madai, Javan, Tubal, Meshek and Tiras. 3The sons of Gomer: Ashkenaz, Riphath and Togarmah. 4The sons of Javan: Elishah, Tarshish, the Kittites and the Rodanites. 5(From these the maritime peoples spread out into their territories by th… Read more

Im gonna fucking kms, why? THIS- bro im crying rn (not as a joke) here is the email I sent my mom

Uhm, remember when I gave your number to my friend? so when I pass my classes I can go over to their house? They had their number in their backpack pocket, and they were like "ADDISON IM GONNA CALL YOUR MOM" I freaked out, and I don't wanna get in trouble, so I'm apologizing now, instead of waiting until get home, and they called you about planned pregnancy, and I took the phone out of their hands and tried hanging up, but it didn't work, and I'm sorry. please don't me mad.

and I'm crying so hard rn ima kms

SHREK

Written by

William Steig & Ted Elliott

SHREK Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. … Read more

I dont understand how the hell you guys start drama so fast, over fucking ashton man.

Hey Matt, I’m not sure when or even if you’ll see this, but I wanted to talk about something I’ve been thinking about for a while. I’m not one to ask for things like this, but at this point I think it’s necessary. I’d like to request moderator status. As you might have seen, things have been...not ideal lately, to say the least. There’s hackers, bullies, etc., all over the place. I do my best to try and settle things down around here, but words can only go so far. If it’s alright with you, I’d like to become a mod so I can do a better job at helping people on here. Thanks.

GENESIS 8 1But God remembered Noah and all the wild animals and the livestock that were with him in the ark, and he sent a wind over the earth, and the waters receded. 2Now the springs of the deep and the floodgates of the heavens had been closed, and the rain had stopped falling from the sky. 3The water receded steadily from the earth. At the end of the hundred and fifty days the water had gone down, 4and on the sev… Read more

Can we all get over the fact the Hailey is fucking ugly? She looks like one of those 'before' pictures on a makeover show....

Hailey, if your reading this rn, YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING GOBLIN!!! Not even makeup can fix you up... You're fucking hideous unlike me. I'm beautiful and I've never been told that I'm ugly in my life.

Hey I got a riddle for y’all.

In 1893, a family in a rural village welcomed twins. One a girl, and the other a boy. The girl was named Martha and the boy named Henry. As the children grew, their family’s fortune did as well, and soon they were able to move out of the rural village and into the city. It is now 1903, and the family of 4 purchases a large house and several acres of land on the edge of the city. Over th… Read more

When I see an anime schoolgirl I have the overwhelming urge to push her down, then watch her get back up again and push her down again, and repeat this over and over until she has a mental breakdown.

Yo Tom I don't remember making you a pedo, oh it's probably because we used the left overs to make you..

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewers head. There's also Rick's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they… Read more