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Little Johnny Made a platter of cookies for Santa. He was gonna set them out by the milk but his dad never came back with it. He wakes up to find his mom on top of Santa. Santa says Ho ho OH YEAH!

Lyrics She's more than just a pretty face In a late night bar More than just a pair of tight jeans Sitting in your car She's more than a last call kiss Or a one night stand Remember, boy, you weren't the first to hold her hand She's somebody's daughter She's somebody's everything She's somebody's little girl Even if she's grown up and moved away She's somebody's whole world She's somebody's baby And if you don't trea… Read more

I kept geting logged out of my account but im the real stig why are people trying to copy me the german stig was me btw but no other one

She put him out Like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette She broke his heart He spent his whole life tryin' to forget We watched him drink his pain away A little at a time But he never could get drunk enough To get her off his mind Until the night

[Chorus: Brad Paisley & Alison Krauss ] He put that bottle to his head And pulled the trigger And finally drank away her memory Life is short, but this time it was bigger Than the strength he had to get up off his knees We found him with his face down in the pillow With a note that said, "I'll love her 'til I die" And when we buried him beneath the willow The Angels sang a whiskey lullaby

I'm a little teapot short and stout. Here is my handle here is my spout. When I get all steamed up then I shout! Tip me over, pour me out.

Incoming message all members please read: we are going to war with the stig, we must drive him out of this website. We are also going to crush the so called "stig nation". THIS IS WAR!!!! ⚔️

Wheres the stig? I've come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and I'm all out of bubblegum

in the coments put a word im going to make a sentence out of them because im bored

ow.. well my girlfriend just broke up with me yesterday..found out she didnt like me in the first place after 7 months, thats a kick in the damn nuts..

I mistakenly sexted my wife’s sister A couple years ago I was on a business trip and missing my wife. I decided to take a suggestive picture (me in my boxer briefs, clearly with a bulge and just the tip sticking out the top) and send it to my wife. We don’t usually sext but I figured she’d appreciate knowing I was thinking of her.

It was late, I was tired, and barely paying attention. I accidentally sent it to her s… Read more

When Jeremy Maclin went down, when, when, he tore his ACL and his fuckin’ MCL in the same goddamn day, dawg, I was over here, I’m lookin’ like, “Aw, shit, man, Jeremy Maclin went down”. Everybody’s all y’know, mad and pissed off, I’m lookin’ like, man, I’m lookin’ like, man, y’know I hope Jeremy Maclin ge-e-et better, but fuck, time for Riley Cooper, that [EXPUNGED]‘s a fuckin’ beast, fuckin’ hog, fuckin’ ballin’ out in the show, I mean, I mean, the [EXPUNGED]‘s a fuckin’ monster, you kno-ow what I’m saying, Riley Cooper, man, that dude, shit. Love him! Now I look like a fuckin’ idiot, man

Now, in personal opinion, there’s a huge difference between the word [EXPUNGED] and [EXPUNGED], okay? Not, not one fuckin’ time. In my videos, have I ever came out and said, “Yo man, fuck dat [EXPUNGED]”. NEVER said dat shit. And I better fuckin’ ke-e-ep my goddamn voice down, there might be some [EXPUNGED] walkin’ do-own the street bout re-ea-dy to fuck me up, man. You know what I’m sayin’? But, um, but yeah, though… Read more

Alright, so it’s a good thing I didn’t buy yo fuckin’ Jersey. Riley Cooper on some real shit. I was really gonna buy yo Jersey, I had my eyes set on it, man. I always thought of you bein’ a low-key fuckin’ beast, okay, fuckin’ monster, fuckin’ hog, fuckin’ ball out of control, okay? But as you guys know man Riley Cooper, he came out and used the word [EXPUNGED], okay? Now, I understand that he was drunk at a fuckin’ … Read more