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Guys, i was just casually digging in my asshole, like any other human would, and i pulled out a condom, weird right?

MY SISTER WAS MAKING RAMEN FOR ME AND SHE FORGOT TO PUT WATER IN AND SHE MELTED THE BOWL AND MY HOUSE SMELLS LIKE BURNT PLASTIC AND RANDOM PERFUMES!!!!

HELP!!!!!!!!

My sister told me that my girlfriend was no good I asked why since she’s been over in are house she has been acting weird around my boyfriend I Asked isn’t you boyfriend in college I said my girlfriend is only in 7th grade I say he would be dating a minor. My sister said oh ya I was one telling you that because you girlfriend is just not good. I told good to slow with. Then I walked out of the room. True story

I wanna rip out my intestines throw them in sea, I want to raise some money to invest in plastic surgery. I want to cover myself head to toe and super sexy scars, cuz I mean aren't you supposed to burn if you're a star?

I walks up to my girlfriend and says to her, “Want to play the firetruck game?” She says, “Sure, how do you play it?” I says, “I place my finger at the bottom of your leg and run it up, and you say red light when you want me to stop.” She says yes, and I begin. I start to get close to reaching up her skirt, she says, “Red light!” I looks at her and I smile wickedly and says, “Firetrucks don’t stop for red lights.” She laughs as I start to rape her.

I am sorry for being mean my a d h d was acting up so I am am sorry dagger you can call me a retard wen ever you want

❗️Hey everyone! I just wanna say something, this is very important to know when you read any of my posts or comments! -I can be unintentionally offensive and rude sometimes, but I’m just being honest. I don’t have any filter when I speak, for example: if you wear your favourite clothing and ask me to be honest if I like it or not, I will give you a brutally honest answer.

-So, if you ever find something I say hurtful or offensive, tell me, if you don’t I will have no idea if I have said anything wrong, or what I’ve said wrong.