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GENESIS 42 Joseph’s Brothers Go to Egypt 1When Jacob learned that there was grain for sale in Egypt, he said to his sons, “Why do you look at one another?” 2And he said, “Behold, I have heard that there is grain for sale in Egypt. Go down and buy grain for us there, that we may live and not die.” 3So ten of Joseph’s brothers went down to buy grain in Egypt. 4But Jacob did not send Benjamin, Joseph’s brother, with his… Read more

GENESIS 41 Joseph Interprets Pharaoh’s Dreams 1After two whole years, Pharaoh dreamed that he was standing by the Nile, 2and behold, there came up out of the Nile seven cows, attractive and plump, and they fed in the reed grass. 3And behold, seven other cows, ugly and thin, came up out of the Nile after them, and stood by the other cows on the bank of the Nile. 4And the ugly, thin cows ate up the seven attractive, pl… Read more

lemme just tell you what happened. MY DAD BEAT MY ASS like as soon as i stepped through them doors it was over, it was like mf mcdonalds shut down or something like he was MAD, he was bringing out the hangers again and i wasn’t bouta get beat for the SECOND TIME IN ONE DAY so i was like “what did i do wrong now” AND HIS FAT ASS WAS LIKE “i got a email from your teacher about the math test you failed” i was like oh sh… Read more

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn? Well, that's alright, because I like the way it hurts Just gonna stand there and hear me cry? Well, that's alright, because I love the way you lie I love the way you lie I can't tell you what it really is I can only tell you what it feels like And right now, there's a steel knife in my windpipe I can't breathe, but I still fight while I can fight As long as the wrong feels ri… Read more

GENESIS 40 Joseph Interprets Two Prisoners’ Dreams 1Some time after this, the cupbearer of the king of Egypt and his baker committed an offense against their lord the king of Egypt. 2And Pharaoh was angry with his two officers, the chief cupbearer and the chief baker, 3and he put them in custody in the house of the captain of the guard, in the prison where Joseph was confined. 4The captain of the guard appointed Jose… Read more

GENESIS 39 Joseph and Potiphar’s Wife 1Now Joseph had been brought down to Egypt, and Potiphar, an officer of Pharaoh, the captain of the guard, an Egyptian, had bought him from the Ishmaelites who had brought him down there. 2The Lord was with Joseph, and he became a successful man, and he was in the house of his Egyptian master. 3His master saw that the Lord was with him and that the Lord caused all that he did to … Read more

GENESIS 38 Judah and Tamar 1It happened at that time that Judah went down from his brothers and turned aside to a certain Adullamite, whose name was Hirah. 2There Judah saw the daughter of a certain Canaanite whose name was Shua. He took her and went in to her, 3and she conceived and bore a son, and he called his name Er. 4She conceived again and bore a son, and she called his name Onan. 5Yet again she bore a son, an… Read more

GENESIS 37 Joseph’s Dreams 1Jacob lived in the land of his father’s sojournings, in the land of Canaan. 2These are the generations of Jacob. Joseph, being seventeen years old, was pasturing the flock with his brothers. He was a boy with the sons of Bilhah and Zilpah, his father’s wives. And Joseph brought a bad report of them to their father. 3Now Israel loved Joseph more than any other of his sons, because he was th… Read more

There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life, His hands where a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.

GENESIS 32 Jacob Prepares to Meet Esau 1Jacob also went on his way, and the angels of God met him. 2When Jacob saw them, he said, “This is the camp of God!” So he named that place Mahanaim. 3Jacob sent messengers ahead of him to his brother Esau in the land of Seir, the country of Edom. 4He instructed them: “This is what you are to say to my lord Esau: ‘Your servant Jacob says, I have been staying with Laban and hav… Read more

You me, gas station..what are we having for dinner? sushi ofc, uh oh looks like there was a roofie in our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in the sewers were surrounded by fish, horny fish, you know what that means FISH ORGY, the stench draws in a bear, what are we going to do.. WERE GONNA FIGHT IT. Bear fight, bear handed, bear...naked? oh yes please. we befriend the bear after beating it in a brawl, we r… Read more

GENESIS 27 Jacob 1And it came to pass, that when Isaac was old, and his eyes were dim, so that he could not see, he called Esau his eldest son, and said unto him, My son: and he said unto him, Behold, here am I. 2And he said, Behold now, I am old, I know not the day of my death: 3now therefore take, I pray thee, thy weapons, thy quiver and thy bow, and go out to the field, and take me some venison; 4and make me savou… Read more

GENESIS 25 The Death of Abraham 1Abraham had taken another wife, whose name was Keturah. 2She bore him Zimran, Jokshan, Medan, Midian, Ishbak and Shuah. 3Jokshan was the father of Sheba and Dedan; the descendants of Dedan were the Ashurites, the Letushites and the Leummites. 4The sons of Midian were Ephah, Epher, Hanok, Abida and Eldaah. All these were descendants of Keturah. 5Abraham left everything he owned to Isaa… Read more

Sixty-four people playing games and talking Black Hole threatens all of them 'Til a blue hand stops them Their name is Four, with X in tow Can they trust them? I don't know! They said, Don't you wanna battle for a prize? You could win a BFDI Eight teams of eight are made Get a basket and you'll be safe

Elimination time, it's Cake at Stake Pencil's out and taken away Where'd she go? Their jaws are slack Four brings d… Read more

GENESIS 24 Isaac and Rebekah 1Abraham was now very old, and the Lord had blessed him in every way. 2He said to the senior servant in his household, the one in charge of all that he had, “Put your hand under my thigh. 3I want you to swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I am living, 4but will go to my country … Read more

Bee Movie Script

According to all known laws of aviation,

there is no way a bee should be able to fly.

Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.

The bee, of course, flies anyway

because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.

Barry! Breakfast is ready!

Ooming!

Hang… Read more