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so I'm a 1ft 2 inch carrot that is 4 inches wide. I was the biggest baddest carrot in the supermarket until one day, a 17 year old boy grabbed me alongside some vaseline. And then, when we got home, he dipped me in that vaseline and... I don't need to say the rest. Anyways I now smell like shit and his mother threw me out the window out of fear. I then got picked up by a trash collecter and he used me as a dildo too.… Read more

Alex stood at the edge of the village, watching as the sun began to set over the horizon. She had just returned from another long day of mining and crafting, and was looking forward to some rest and relaxation.

As she started to make her way towards her house, she noticed a strange figure standing in the distance. It was an Iron Golem, towering over the buildings with its imposing presence. She had seen many of them… Read more

SHREK

Written by

William Steig & Ted Elliott

SHREK Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. … Read more